3 weeks 2 days and flipping herself over

I always knew she would be an active baby, nothing less than her brother, when she was still in my tummy. Her movements were always so "big", you could hardly miss them when she was tumbling and rumbling within. They were also frequent and long-lasting.

But I never foresee that she will be this strong. She was able to turn her head at will right from day 1. Soon after, she showed her ability to lift her head off the mat and turn it when she was on her tummy while we were "suntanning" her. Today, she took it a step further, by flipping herself over when I put her on her tummy, not once but twice!

New Addition - Baby Ying

The girls just love to take their own sweet time, don't they?

Baby Ying's delivery was a planned one, as contrary to her siblings who both decided to make their way out when they hit 38.5 weeks, she simply refused to make her entry, even when it got really cramped in Mummy's tummy, and Mummy was practically finding it a chore and pain sleeping. Perhaps, being frequently squashed and squeezed, coupled with all the noise even with the insulation, she decided it was safer to stay within. So, it was decided she should be hurried out on 9 Sep 2011, and we should report early at 7am in the morning at the Delivery Suite (just 2 days short of her EDD).

With every delivery, the time taken should be shorten right? At least that was what happened when Kang came along (approximately 6 hrs vs En's >12 hrs). Alas, this theory was totally taken apart, when she proved that she must beat her sister in the competition to resist leaving the comforts of Mummy's womb. And she certainly didn't do too badly. I would say she more or less evened the record.

Schedule of events:-

Slightly before 7am: Reported at Delivery Suite.

Ard 9am: Inexperienced Doc came in, took hell of a long time and a great deal of PAIN, did 2 blotched-up needle insertion on both my hands (which is still bruised after > 1 week), before announcing he would get his senior to do the job - faster, lesser pain and most importantly EFFECTIVE!

937am: Here comes the glucose drip.

1245pm: Dr JT broke the water bag. Oxytoxin followed soon after.

2pm: Started epidural.

Ard 430pm: Doc came in to check. Approximately 4cm dilated. Still not ready. He mentioned it'd be fast once it crossed 5cm.

718pm: Finally, OUT!

Within a span of 2+ years, much has changed at KKH. Now, they encouraged bonding by placing naked baby (san diapers) on Mummy's body right after wiping her clean. Mummy and Baby will then remain together in the Delivery Suite for about an hour before moving to the ward, where Baby will be moved to the Nursery. That was when dear Baby Ying decided to poo, letting Mummy touched her first pot of "gold". Another obvious change was in the renovation. The ward must have been updated recently to the likes of a 5-star hotel. What greeted me was a huge 40" (or 46") LED/ LCD tv. The decor exuded a luxurious and cozy feel. Best of all, for the accompanying Daddy, he didn't have to squeeze into the not-that-big wooden, make-shift "sofa bed" anymore. It had been upgraded to a larger leather-like day bed type of settee.

However, I certainly hope this will be my last stay there......

20 mths - Blabber, Blabber, Blabber

These days, the little Prince has grown to enjoy books. It used to be, when I was reading to sister, he would insist on taking the book and just flipping or attempting his other antics on it, anything but reading. Now, he actually brings books to me to read to him, not just once but repetitively each time. Of course, he has his favourites - seems he likes Sesame Street characters most, as his 2 most frequently picked choices suggest.

He has also decided that he wants to be "better understood". It used to be, he was pretty much contented with spouting words that related to things that interested him like nene, ball, bir (bird), papa, mama , jiejie etc. However, he has gotten smarter. Saying "share" gets people to give him food and toys, "拿" when he wants to have his bowl and spoon to feed himself, when prompted he also asks people to "给", "谢谢" and more. Recently, his journey of exploring with the spoken language has exploded further. When we read to him, he will usually copy the last word of each sentence. "Ha" (house), "bah" (bug), "ah" (up), "dow" (down)....... and he knows what usually follows when people says certain words, for e.g. when jiejie said, "Ready...", he'd follow up with, "Go!" The cutest thing is, he has always been a very expressive boy, so when he speaks, it's also filled with different pitches and intonation, making it a joyful sight when you see him go.

This little rascal has grown and progressed so much, Mummy is having a tough time catching up (literally!). Luckily, he is always better behaved when he is alone with me (he knows Mummy is no push-over. Smart!). However, when there's someone around, even his jiejie, the house turns upside down, as one is a super loud-mouth, while the other Mr Destructive. When they play together, it's "BANG"!!!

As age catches up with me, sometimes I really wonder, will I be able to manage in the months to come??

十大生孩子的理由

1。这是人生的必经阶段 -- 毕了业，找份工作，然后赶搭婚姻列车，接下来当然是升格当父母lor。

2。生一个来玩玩，因为别人的很cute。

3。什么是condom？结果......

4。人家有，我哪里可以没有？Singaporean kiasu mah......

5。政府给bonus leh， 不拿白不拿。

6。哇！通货膨胀那么厉害，生个孩子，下半辈子就靠他了！

7。天理循环，人家生我，我生别人，这样人类才不会绝种嘛。

8。阿爸、阿妈要，就生一个给他们lor。

9。新年才可以回本！！

10。就是喜欢小孩，愿意无私为他们付出，用心教育这些小生命，并期盼他们茁壮成长，将来成为负责任、有爱心，贡献于社会的人。

政府应该鼓励哪一类的家长？还是来者不拒，只要充得那数字，管他是好竽、滥竽。结果推出的措施，只注重于一时的成效，缺乏针对性，或长远的考量。

If you do not even know your target audience, how are you to achieve the desired results?

妈妈的新年愿望

关关难过，关关过。

今年，要抱着比以往更积极的态度，相信“天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行指乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。”——《孟子。告子下》

所以，尤先向阿咪学习，今年的座右铭既是：-

把吃苦当吃补

要修身，必先养性。有太多缺点需改进，能丢的就丢，丢不掉就设法收敛：-

1。各人有各人造化，避免做无谓比较，珍惜属于自己的福气。

2。活得更自信，别太在意他人怎么想、怎么看。重要的是，问心无愧。

3。让心情更平和，无论对人、对事，尽量能不发作，就不发作。

4。常提醒自己，清洗脑袋，把不好的记忆刷，刷，刷，全都扫出去，留下美好、值得珍藏的东西。

5。少管闲事。别人家的事，干我屁事？？！！！何苦如此动怒，既伤神，又伤身。神经病！

老天爷，新任务，我接下了！

言尽于此，希望接下来的日子，能更努力经营好我的人生。

Potty Training for No.2

Oh ya, it's the moment again...... but a wee tad early I guess.

My dear lil' Mr Cheeky usually signals when he is going for the big business (well, most of the time). Recently, he pointed me to the potty a couple of times in the mornings, for which he just pee-ed only. So I thought, could he be ready (though experience with the Princess taught me it was too early)? Anyway, you never know unless you try......

Here goes......

Yesterday, on the 黄道吉日 that I chose to mark this important milestone, I dug out the training pants that were his sis', told him how nice n pretty the bear appliques were. In order not to wet them, he had to let me know when he felt like peeing. Well, within the hr, both pairs, including his top was sitting in the basin, waiting to be washed.

Then I decided to put him back on diaper for his afternoon nap, as I was almost certain he would definitely wet his sarong. True enough, his diaper was quite wet after he woke. Nonetheless, I decided to give him another chance (success = saving $$$$!!!). On went his yellow Brightbot. So off he went, putting on Jiejie's dress, and then, Gong Gong said, "他的裙子湿了". That was the last training pants we had......

And so, till 3 mths later......

My Poor Hands.........

[Btw, following En's performance at United Sq, I didn't manage to catch a better video on the day of recital which was on 5 Dec, as there were more kids, and we were seated further away. This recital was different from the one staged by Utah Dance Artistes 2 years ago, as all classes involved performed to one single plot (The Little Mermaid), while the previous one followed a common theme but with individual titles. It was no doubt an entertaining night, as they managed to introduce different dance genres (ballet, hip hop, modern dance etc) into one storyline. A job well-done.]

18-mth

In 2 mths, he has progressed a great deal both emotionally and in his cognitive abilities.

He used to ignore me when I asked him for kisses, sayang etc and carried on with whatever he wanted to do or was doing even when I scolded him. These days, he kissed most of the time when requested (many times on his own initiative too :)), "choops" both his parents to sleep with him (I sleep with En, while Daddy sleeps with him after he stopped breast-feeding. But now, he always get me to sleep with him and I can only move back on the bed after he dozes off), gets jealous when we carry his cousin or show more attention to jie jie, pretends to cry or pouts when he gets scolded and wants me to carry him (just like jie jie).

And he is super-skilled at playing with the i-gadgets, Angry Bird being his favourite game. He goes "Bir Bir" when he wants to play with the game. This boy is stuck to the goggle box and he typically switches off when he is watching the programme. Sometimes, he made strange request to turn on both TV in the living room, even when he is only watching one. And he has a knack for all things BALL (anything round is a ball), even programme with balls in them, sports session in the newspaper etc. At one point, he was super attracted to the theme song of the auntie show "爱", that whenever it played on the TV, he stopped all things he was doing and climbed immediately onto the sofa to watch. This worked out to be an advantage to us, as when he refused to eat his meal, we just had to wait till the song started playing and fed him everything (or almost) within that 2 mins or so. Ya, no joke. He can finish his meal within such a short time, as his attention was so caught up he simply opened his mouth and ate whatever that was shoved. However, he has grown "smarter" now and this doesn't work anymore......

My little charmer... u are so, so cute.

The Little Mermaid Ballet Performance @United Sq

The beginning of the Year-End Holidays marked a very busy start for me. Now, I have to keep the big one entertained n cook for TWO kids instead of one (have to really squeeze my creative juice to come up with delicious, wholesome yet healthy food (minus additional seasonings, additives etc) that can satisfy the palate of the picky ones). In fact, the younger one is harder to please (is it with boys???)....

Not forgetting the Extra-Curriculum, as En is involved in this year's recital for her ballet school, this translates to more practice sessions and rehearsals. Sometimes, I have to be out from mid-day till late in the night. Many times, these sessions run consecutively for a few days and it can get very taxing and tiring for both of us. Another issue will be with the arrangement for baby-sitters as many of these sessions either stretched for too many hrs or happened to crashed with Kang's nap-time.

This performance is a prelude to her actual recital on 5 Dec and she is starring as one of the starfishes. The costumes for this performance are really colourful and pretty, albeit very, very costly too.

There was just a small glitch before she was to perform. When I just arrived at the stage where they were stationed, one of the staff came over and told me she was crying. She thought it could be due to anxiety but I was thinking that wasn't quite possible as she is EXPERIENCED. When I met the teacher, apparently it was due to something else. A little brother of one of her fellow starfishes was mimicking whatever she was doing and she got upset about it. I don't know why. Guess it's another of those kid-thingy adults can never really comprehend.

Anyway, here's some pictures and video for the day.

Meanwhile, I hope I'll be able to catch a better video of the actual day performance. Crossing my fingers..........

Zoo again

We had been to the Zoo many times this year, since we got the zoo pass (short, frequent trips to accommodate the boy's napping), but never really got to use the waterplay area (except for En who did it once).

So, this was the first time Mr Kang got his chance. Oh boy! He had THE time of his life (and yummy cheese n ham sandwich from Ben n Jerry's for lunch. We had KFC)!!

BPMC 2010 Graduation Concert (121110)

Has been missing many updates lately, as there was problem with my laptop's adaptor and I couldn't charge it. Finally, my new charger "returned" from US, then, I realised it was the travel adaptor that was giving trouble instead!

The day for En's kindy's Graduation Concert finally arrived (a week before school closed). This year, it was also in conjunction with their 25th anniversary, so everyone was given some souveniors (fridge magnets) after the event. Cool!

Last year (at Newton Kindy), she was chosen to be 1 of 2 presenters for her class's item, but was dropped last min (as they decided 1 is easier to manage). It was a bit of a disappointment. Nonetheless, she was given the opportunity again this time round again :).

A pity I couldn't get the camera to focus and missed the opening of her "speech". It was quite funny, as her co-presenter (coincidentally her best friend, with a love-hate relationship), tried to take the mike from her hand, while she wrestled away her attempt and told her off that there was another mike on the floor. Everyone broke into a laughter.

The title for their song cum dance item is "Make a Joyful Noise".

Till the next concert, when it's truly her turn to Graduate......

I pray for a strong heart

I pray for a strong heart
Carry me through
I pray for abundant love
Let me be
The beacon, the cove, the strength
For my beloved two
Take my love
Engulf them
Let them be forever gay

'我的爱情已进入了坟墓'

Sent from my iPhone

Roseola

This is the first time I came upon this condition.

Kang was down with high fever over the weekends that lasted around 4 days. Prior to this, he had very mild diarrhoea since mid-week. He kept waking up in the night (<1hr between each session) and paracetamol, regular sponging and bathing didn't seem to do much to bring down the temperature. So we brought him to the doctor after 2 nights (Meanwhile, En also caught a mild runny nose and cough). He was prescribed Ibufen, which proved much more effective. However, as his fever was recovering, his diarrhoea took a turn for the worse (although not as bad as when hit by the rotavirus). The day his fever fully subsided, his body broke out in red spotty rashes, even on the side of his face and neck (the sister spotted them first in the morning :)).

We decided to bring him to the doc again if condition failed to improve by the evening. Meanwhile, I ran a check on the internet to see what could have caused the spotting. One particular condition seemed to fit the description of his symptoms most - Roseola. Sudden high fever spanning 3-5 days, may have vomitting or diarrhoea, red spotty rashes (non-itchy) after fever subsides, poor appetite.......

Apparently, this is caused by a type of herpes virus (albeit non-sexually transmitted). It usually hits tots between 6 mths - 2 yrs (adults carrying the virus usually show no symptoms at all). Since condition is usually suspected only upon appearance of rashes (by then, it has already past the most contagious period), it is almost impossible to curb it's transmission (like most virus, it is transmitted by saliva or respiratory droplets — when an infected person sneezes or coughs, for example — or by fecal-oral contact).

Treatment is symptomatic so we'll have to let the virus run it's course (we got some lacteolfort for his diarrheoa). The good news: Once your child has had roseola, he'll probably have lifelong immunity to it.

For now, although he is almost recovered (with diarrheoa improving and the rashes), he is grumpier than ever. Owwwwwwww.... sleepless nights and hair-raising days.....

I asked a question, "How much do you love me?"

After a momentary pause, "I used to love you very much -- till we have kids. x% went to this, y% went to that, so...."

It hurts.

I never knew that is how Love is. I thought Love has no limits. I had a baby gal, now I have a new boy. But it never felt like my love for her has diminished in anyway because of a new addition. Love just grows and grows, to accommodate more.

That was plainly a statement to "justify" or "legitamized" his lost love.

Then he said, "Don't try to misinterpret what I said. If you can't accept it, then don't ask me such a question."

Did I interpret it any other way? Wasn't it simply "I love you less"?

"You have a right to your opinions, but sometimes what you said can hurt people. The day when what you had just said no longer affects me, is the day when you really have to start worrying."

I know that Love may diminish over time, even soured or be completely obliterated. On the other end, Love can flourish, be enhanced and be in abundance. Love can change it's form, from red-hot passion, to a more subdued familial form - To Love him as a husband, a father to my kids, a life partner (unfortunately not as soul mate, for we are too alike in areas which I had hoped not, that it gets stressful to voice what I truly feels ever so often. It would have been better if we had been complementary. That, would be another story.). And that, is a more powerful Love - one that is meant to last and bind.

And thus, it hurts, especially when the message is masked under unfamiliar notions of x, y ,z%......

The 16 mth monster

My boy - he just turned 16 mths today.

At 13 mth, he took his first steps - delicate and careful. Within a mth, he was not just running, but also exploring ladders and such, frequently surprising me of what he is capable of, including pulling himself up a flight of steps to a loft bed!

Today, he picks his own shoes, brings people to where he can find snacks, urges others to bring him out of the house, calls his jie jie and gong gong when he feels like it, swinging himself in his sarong, wanting to feed himself, washes his hair and body, insisting on eating whatever other people eat....

However, some things never change. He is still as stubborn, wakes at night, and loves his daddy the most, despite they being separated for almost 3 mths.

I do get jealous, of cos, being the one that care for him primarily. Would you call that “缘”? Sigh, I'm glad I have my Princess.

Cheap Remedy - Split nails

I have the problem of snagging my nails - quite frequently, that is. Sometimes, I did not even know when/ where/ how they split, especially after I began my life as a SAHM. Of cos, the easiest way to get around it will be to simply trim it off, IF the split had not already gone into the portion where the flesh is. Unfortunately again, this happens almost everytime.

So how? Initially, I had to rely on the professionals - the Manicurist. Ya, and u think they are just there to beautify your nails huh. Sometimes, they can be "life-savers" too. What they do is to patch up the tear with acrylic powders , forming something like a fake nail over your natural nail. The one that I last visited charges $7.50/ nail - a hefty sum for someone that's relying on another person for "income"! It would have been well worth the cost if that could last me till the nail grow out enough to be trimmed. Alas, that NEVER happened. Having to return for "re-servicing" every week (at best fortnightly, for people like me who use their hands excessively for cleaning, washing etc. For true blood Tai Tai, ya, the patch will probably last much longer. In the first place, I don't think they even need such a service, unless of cos, they so carelessly snag their beautifully manicured nails while trying out clothes at Dxxx, Pxxxx etc), and I think they charge you for removing the existing/ failing acrylic layer, that simply translates to "Option Denied".

Sure, I can learn the art of manicuring and just purchase the tools. NO TIME. Luckily, there's an easier n cheaper option available. Orly carries a Nail Rescue Kit that includes a small container of acrylic powder n glue. What u have to do is to simply apply the glue over your entire nail, dip into the powder, wait a while for it to dry, then buff the surface till it's smooth. Walah! Brand-new nail! Ok, the kit doesn't come cheap (think it $20+) and the glue was already dried up when I opened it (apparently a common complaint for this particular item), but the powder can really last. The first time I tried it (after purchasing another nail glue of other brand, which is just a couple of dollars), it didn't work well. The second time, I decided to apply extra layers, and it worked marvelously. Lasted much longer than those salon-done ones, though it wasn't as pretty. But it's sturdy. Worked for me.

Here's the catch - how to remove them when they start to wear off? First time round, I paid some "school fees" again and bought those artificial nail remover that comes with a plastic container n sponge from the same brand. I soaked n rubbed n soaked n rubbed... in the end, I had to use the nail file to try and remove the failed job as much as possible. The liquid dried up before I got to use it for the 2nd round. Then, I read on the web that I just have to get a normal nail remover that is NOT acetone-free, drench a piece of cotton pad with it, wrap it over the nail, and cover the whole thing with foil for 15-20mins. Just tried it earlier. Voila! Nice n Clean!

So, the morale of the story? Cheap and simple solution may very well turned out much better than fanciful (expensive) ones.

Lesson learnt:-

If u r often in the same predicament as me, u may want to take note of the following -

1. Just buy the Orly powder, WITHOUT the glue. U can easily get more affordable and reliable nail glue elsewhere.

2. You DO NOT need a separate remover. Just use your regular one as recommended above. They work just fine, if not better. If yours is the harsher version, u may want to apply some Vaseline on your cuticle to prevent them from drying.

Hope whoever finds this article, can get some value out of it.

If there is a God...

... Why does he have to take my husband away

... Why does he afflict me with such a stubborn virus

... Why does he make my children sick

... Why does he make my baby lose his appetite AFTER I start my course of steroids n antibiotic

... Why does he let my son reject formula now n only wants to be breastfed, when I cannot offer him that comfort

... Why doesn't he touch the heart of that certain someone, so that he will come home and offer some relief, when he is most needed

... Why am I left to fight this battle alone

... Why does the harsh medication seem to have lose their effects

Because he set trials to make people stronger?? So we can overcome ALL the hurdles thrown at the same time and be a changed person overnight???

If there is a God, he is a callous God.

So this is it?

Yesterday was the last day of June Holidays, it may also mark the end of my breastfeeding days.

The doctor finally decided to put me on a course of anti-biotics and steroid as my body is not responding to the regular medication. Thus, I would not be able to breastfeed boy till 1 week after I stopped taking the steroid.

I was intending to take out my pump, in case my breasts get engorged. Last evening, sometime after taking my first dose, I felt a strong letdown sensation and thought that I might need to express. However, feeling my breasts, they weren't hard/ full at all. This morning, I realised my breasts had shrunk significantly overnight, so much that they could actually fit comfortably into my pre-pregnancy bra. Did my milk glands "died" overnight?

Although my initial intention was to stop breastfeeding after boy turned 1, and I'd switched him to partial formula since he turned 10 mths, when the time finally arrives, I still feel a tinge of lost and sadness.

Just now, as he saw me pulling up my shirt, he wanted me to breastfeed him and cried when I refused (kept tugging and pulling my shirt up). Sorry, my darling boy. Mommy would have fed you if I could. Mommy's milk will be doing you more harm than good now. Meanwhile, as we go through this transitional phase, pray that we may all recover from our illness soon.

(Our last breastfeeding session - 27 June 2010, Sun morning)

2 new skills

Besides being pretty adept at stuff like getting down the bed on his own, wanting to kpo n feed himself n standing n playing around his sarong stand, he actually did something new yesterday - to be exact, he offered two surprises:-

1. He blew the whistle. Though not quite loud but he actually did that a few times.

2. He stood on his own. He was standing by the toy boxes when he let go n started fiddling with a rubber band. It was till I raised my voice n warned him to be careful when he got startled and sat down.

I hope he starts walking only when we'd all recover from our illness. Else really no energy to race after him.

Changes along the way

This is so strange......

Even though I know babies n young kids change their habits all the time, but it seems little Kang decided to schedule them all right after his birthday celebration (later than his actual birthday).

He used to be less fussy about missing naps or irregular nap times (something which was an absolute no-no for his sister since Day 1). Right on the day we held his party, he decided to "flex his muscles" and showed what he was actually capable of. He woke up in the middle of the night (which is still pretty common even after we started to introduce partial formula feeding in the night, another strange habit I presumed should have stopped if I weaned him off night-feeds) and wailed inconsolably, even refusing his favourite Daddy's attempts to carry him, waking his granddad from his sleep, again rejecting his offer to carry him and clung on to Mummy (which was definitely not his favourite character before that, only choosing me when he wanted his nene). He pushed and struggled and screamed non-stop and it took him really quite sometime before calming down. I contributed the episode to a mixture of over-tiredness, over-stimulation n a bad tummy due to all the forbidden stuff fed to him by doting uncles (hmmm, u know who u r right ;p). The following few days were difficult, when he refused his food n bottle etc... However, yesterday, during our weekly visit to my ILs, they decided to bring him for a walk during his nap time. I thought since we would be there for less than 3 hrs, I'd just keep quiet n let him catch his nap in the car. It was an absolutely BAD decision. He started grouching when we got into the car and all hell broke lose while we were approaching home. It didn't help when I removed him from his car seat, as he continued to struggle and nearly strangled me with his pushing. I had to hang on to him fervently, for fear that I dropped him while holding my umbrella in the other hand, making sure both kids were sheltered from the rain, as I make my way from the carpark to the lobby. He fell asleep soon after being dropped in his sarong - a sign of extreme tiredness. But that wasn't the end of my woes. He started grouching and wailing again after waking from his nap and refused dinner and was partially consoled when offered my breast. It didn't last. In the end, I had to bring him down for a walk before he finally settled down - a whole 2 hrs saga. At around 1+am, he woke up and duplicated the episode we had on the night of his birthday celebration!!! And finally went back to sleep ard 3am. That left me sleepless for the entire night......

Another incomprehensible act is that, he had decided to boycott the bottle after being introduced to partial formula since 2 months back. The frequency of him refusing to drink his formula has been increasing these few days and he had not taken anything from the bottle for the past 3 feeds, shaking his head whenever being offered one, and getting upset if we repeated our attempts. Suddenly, he decided he wanted to pick up signing "nene" (after simply ignoring all attempts to get him to do so for months. This boy picks on what he wants to learn n shakes his head or ignores u when u're trying to teach him something he's not interested in) and it is only to be used exclusively for Mummy's milk (he did that just now after his swimming session, when it was time for his afternoon feed).

Now, he understands quite a fair bit of what we r talking about. For e.g. when we say beat beat, he'll hit himself on his bum with his hands, when we ask him to drink water and praise him, he'll take his bottle and sip it. Of cos there are more instances.

The Mummy whom wasn't one of his first few choices when it came to playmates, all of a sudden seems to become his close pal. I believe it's probably due to the fact that he is starting to display separation anxiety. Could this be the reason he is refusing his bottles?? Maybe...... I guess my plan to slowly wean him may have to be sidelined for the time being......

Whatever the case, with the changes coming along, I have no choice but to play the bad guy again. It beats tiring myself to death and stretching my boy beyond his tolerance. Afterall, we r the ones to suffer while others simply remain blind to all that happen beyond their scope of view. Sometimes I really feel the strain of having to ferry my younglings all the way down n up every week on my own. Each way is >30mins drive n I know very well the way home will be a torture on most days. Perhaps when something bad happens along one of these trips, then will somebody be "enlightened" and show us some empathy......

我的太阳不见了

漫长的80+天，不知道要怎样过下去？等待、等待还是等待...感觉自己好似急诊室医生，唯一不同的是，I'm on PERMANENT shift, 24小时，每时、每分、每秒都过着紧张，不眠不休的日子。病人时时刻刻都需要我的关注、照顾 and there's no one to take over。Weekdays r bad, Weekends r unbearable. Staying at home is stifling but it beats going out and watching others having their whole family together.

太阳不见了。地球变得冰冷，渐渐失去了她的生命。没有了太阳的地球，到底还能存活吗？