Be it Nature or Nurture......

I set out with the intention to rear a happy and healthy child.

For a start, I was blessed with a healthy baby girl - all of 50cm and 3.052kg. To top it of, she was beautiful, even till this day.

As for being happy, I wasn't sure initially. Though infants don't have much expressions to begin with, Baby En was kind of a "frowner". There was this persistent frowning look on her. Thus, I decided to smile and talk to her often, hoping that it'd somehow rub-off on her. I believe it did work. Today, she's generally a happy girl, who laughs and chuckles a lot, although she has her fair share of wailing and screaming - her method of exhorting others to give in, which I hope she's getting to realise it doesn't work.

Today, we went for Teachers - Parents session at her childcare centre. All in all, the discussions and observations were rather positive. Well-behaved, shows compassion for animals and friends, willingness to share, able to express herself.... with the exception of speaking up.

Baby En is a talkative girl at home. She can yak non-stop from the moment she wakes up till bedtime. Sometimes till the extent of behaving like a broken recorder, repeating the same thing over and over. However, I do notice she does refuse to speak up at times, especially with strangers. That sets me thinking about the documentary "Child of Our Time". Are we more influenced by Nature or Nurture? How much does our genes affect who we grow up to be?

Perhaps in another 20 years, when the results of the study conducted on the selected children are released, we may find some answers. However, I do have some personal opinion on this subject. It is indisputable that all children are born different. Why do I say this? Setting aside children born with deficiencies of any kind, it is not uncommon to find that babies, even as early as newborns who are only a couple of days old, often exhibit very varied characteristics, be it sleep, feeding habits or temperament. We hear parents talking about their "easy" babies and "difficult" babies. I happen to have the latter, most prominently characterised by her sleep, or I should say lack of sleep (So, DO NOT compare your child with others. Only makes you and the child feel lousy).

Observing Baby En, she probably inherited her reservations on speaking up from me. My friends, you may ask: If so, why did you always end up in jobs that require the art of speaking and dealing with people (To list a few, there were Customer Service, Retail, Training, Marketing, Teaching...)? Ah ha, I guess that's because I'm a Sagittarius, and one who has very conflicting personality. Come to think about it, that could be the very reason why I couldn't last long in any of the above jobs ;-p!

I was always a quiet student, shying from attention, the one who never shined among my peers. For a long time, I simply did not have any confidence. There was a stage I got very "imbalanced". I behaved very much like a hedgehog, coiling myself up, with my needles out, all ready to poke at anyone, as a means to hide my insecurities.

Over the years, after tonnes of setbacks, I finally learn to let go. I wouldn't say I'd shed all the insecurities but I guess I'm a better person. At least, I really try to look at the good of others and appreciate the friends who stayed close-by over the years. Many things, I'm really not able to change but I work to "minimise" their effects.

Guess I'd deferred much from what I intended to share about. Coming back to the point, with her health and happiness in place, I hope that I'll be able to help Baby En grow to be a confident person (even if Nature may not be on our side). With these in place, all other attributes will gradually come about. Even if some doesn't, I believe she will make a useful and good person with just the above 3 (not forgetting the importance of Compassion for ALL living things).

For all of you who remained steadfast beside me all these years, Thank You!!!

P/s: I may have hurt some of you, my dear friends/ families over the years, whether intentional or not. If you get to see this, I hope you'll forgive me and continue to lend me your support and love. Please help me to become a better person.