Carpe Diem - easier said than done for a self-professed procrastinator. But for the love of my life, I finally keyed my first sentence, then the second, and the third... as a recording of memories I'd want to remember, good or bad, a gift from Mommy to U - Dear Baby En

"From Baby En to Baby Kang, both my darlings, equally precious. May this journal keep u company, when Mummy can no longer be there......"

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Showing posts with label Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discipline. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 March 2009

原来如此

恩恩今天有点怪。当我接她放学时,她一见到我就说很累,也不太愿意和余老师说再见。于是,我便先带她上厕所。

正当我们步向电梯时,余老师朝我们走来,然后问恩恩为什么没向她道别?原来之前,有位同学掉了发夹,恩恩把它捡了起来,不愿还给同学。当老师把发夹归还时,她便大哭起来。

当她听到老师的陈述,便又眼眶乏红,哭了起来,便一直说累。当我向她提问,希望她让妈妈知道发生了什么事,好让妈妈帮她解决。她怎么都不肯说,只是一直哭,一直答不愿意说,甚至说她忘了那同学是谁,忘了发生什么事。

我便向她解释,我只想知道发生什么事,如果恩恩有秘密不跟妈妈说,妈妈会伤心的。妈妈只想知道发生什么事,不会责骂她的。我又问她,如果她有一样很喜欢的东西,而朋友拿走了不还她,她是不是会很伤心?答案是肯定的。同样的,如果她拿了别人心爱的东西,那人也会很伤心的。经过了一轮哭诉,说着她有多么喜欢那发夹等等,我一再对她解释,无论她有多喜爱,东西不是她的,她就不应该拿。过一会儿,她便平静了下来。

后来,她终于告诉我,原来发夹是她的好朋友-惠黎的。她也答应我,明天会向惠黎道歉。想必她早前不愿道出事情的原委,应该是知道自己做错了事,怕被责骂。我想,这事件,应该还处理得相当妥当吧。

Friday, 16 November 2007

坏妈妈

发现每个月生理周期起变化的那一、两个星期,脾气会变得特别急躁,完全失去忍耐的能力。

常因为一些小事情,跟孩子大喊大叫。可怕的是,情况好像越来越糟。今天一大早,又为了孩子闹情绪而发火。整个人好像疯子一样,跟她大吼,“讨厌”、“irritating”等可怕的话脱口而出。一直喊,一直喊,一直喊.....完全失去自制的能力,还出手打了她。一巴掌打了下去,她没静下来,还拿藤条在小手心抽了两下。

宝贝,对不起!

我到底发生了什么事?希望只是最近为安排到国外的事,比较烦燥而已。最好不是得了忧郁症......

Monday, 5 November 2007

Why u call me "Wei"

There was a period of time when Baby En decided it was cool calling people "Wei!". So she went around shouting "Wei!" to me. Till I told her it's rude to do that. And if anyone were to call her "Wei" in school, she should just ignore and tell them that she has a name.

It kind of improve for a while. Then, one day, while we were waiting to board the plane home at Phuket Airport, Baby En was messing around near a rubbish bin. As a reflex action, I shouted "Wei! Baby move away from the rubbish bin." Next thing I knew, she strolled up to me and said in an angry tone, "Mummy, why you called me 'Wei'". Papa laughed so loudly, but I wasn't in the bit embarrassed. In fact, I felt happy she registered my message, thus I apologise to her and took the chance to reiterate that it wasn't nice to be called "Wei".

Not too long after, DEAR DEAR DADDY became the butt of his own joke. Hahahahaha!

Saturday, 20 October 2007

矛盾

很多时候,我告诉自己不要打孩子,特别是了解自己脾气不好,容易动怒,深怕一时之气下,会做一些日后后悔莫及的事。宝贝一天天长大,慢慢地,她也开始意识到自己是独立个体,有自己的想法、情绪,会发问、顶嘴、耍赖、发怒......脾气更是和妈妈同出一辙,可说是有过之而无不及。有一天,我终于忍无可忍拿藤条打了她(不是真的藤条,而是那类撑气球的塑料管,打了没那么疼)。你晓得吗,这小鬼还胆敢跟我抢藤条!本来只想打她的小手心,结果打不着,干脆把她捉起来往屁股抽了一下。她当然又哭又闹,嘴里虽然喊怕怕,可是行为上还是一样坏,性格倔得很!接下来的一、两天,情况没改善,还变本加厉,连三更半夜也起来闹。结果当然又是被打。她总爱在胡闹、乱耍脾气之际,还要妈妈抱抱等,而且是无论你做什么,她都不满意,就是故意找麻烦。很多时候,心里是想上前抱她的,可是又担心这样会养成她无理取闹的个性,所以她越闹,我越不睬她,一定要她认错。她硬是不肯,就在那儿展开“拉锯战”。
有时,感觉上,若我态度先软化,去抱她,她可能更快恢复,也不需搞得自己气得快发疯,可是真的很怕这样的妥协会照成将来宠坏她的严重下场,让她变得娇纵、无理。毕竟人人都让她,管教她的责任都落在我一个人身上。当她闹起来时,枕边人给予的并不是体谅,而是"Y do u ALL have to do this every night?!"难道我不累吗?真的很想撞墙死了算了。
我到底是个怎样的妈妈?是否能教好我的孩子?做得对不对?我没有答案。
唯一庆幸的是,至少到目前为止,虽然妈妈对她是最凶的,也是唯一会打她的,宝贝始终最爱我,即使教训了她后,她还是会要找我。会不会担心有一天她终于讨厌妈妈,讨厌那个唯一会对她严厉的妈妈?当然会。可是这是我为人母的责任,只希望她永远能明白一切都是为了爱她。
小宝贝,打在儿身,痛在娘心。你长大了是否能够体会?

Thursday, 24 May 2007

The Art of Negotiation

The Art of Negotiation - some may say it only applies to the business world, where big shots flexed their brain muscles at negotiation tables, trying to get the better of each other.

Mommies will tell you, "TRASH THAT IDEA IN THE RUBBISH BIN!" For at some point, we all have to deal with the nastiest of them all, the Master of all Negotiators - the Toddlers.

Don't believe? Here are a few examples......

Example 1

Mummy: Do you want Mummy to bath you now or Daddy to bath you 5 min later?

En: I don't want to bath.

Example 2

Daddy: You can either choose to have Daddy brush your teeth or Mummy.

En: Elmo brush.

Example 3

Mummy: Shall we wear this (dress) or this (Holds up 2 pieces for her to choose)?

En: No (goes around "disqualifying" the other clothing).

Get what I mean? No room for negotiation. Case closed. Period.

Sigh. Guess I'll have to take up an Advanced Course in Negotiation......

Monday, 7 May 2007

Power Struggle

Battling a toddler can be tiring, especially with one who's going through a phase of absolute defience.

Recently, Baby En has been exceptionally naughty. She's exhibiting behaviour that suggests she's going through a stage whereby she wants to display her independence. This has been going on for a while. However, the situation is worsening. It progresses from the occasional outburst, to the frequent disobedience. Every now and then, she'll act in the opposite of what's expected of her, thereafter, comes the screaming, crying, tantrums throwing etc.

Apparently, her stubbornness also grows with her age. Time-out in her naughty corner no longer works. There was a period whereby I got so tired with the tongue-lashing and temper flares, I worried I might just lost control and did something which I would regret in future.

Finally, I resorted to the one thing that some Mommies professed to work - IGNORE. Yes, I ignored her, 1/2 hr, 45 mins.... I didn't care. And ya, a stubborn girl she is. She hung on screaming and crying, ranting her "don't want, scared scared" song, right there in the bathroom, beside the loo.. Even when she finally came to me, she still refused to admit that her behaviour was wrong. It was a battle of the wills. I did my web-surfing with her in full-action right next to me, till she finally relented, admitted on her wrongdoings and apologised. Not any less.

Then it's nap-time. Wow, this was one of the fastest sleep record for her!