“算”

这个世界上会“算”的人很多。

有一种是跟你“明算”。不管是钱债、情债、赌债、......一毛钱、一粒米、甚至可能是为了一句话，都要跟你“算”到底。这种人给人的印象无疑是斤斤计较、一毛不拔，可是他们还是可爱的。因为这些人做起事情都是明刀明枪，跟他们交涉起来，要挡要逃都没那么难。

而另一类呢，你可就要小心了。他们表面和蔼，给人容易亲近的感觉，时常面带笑容，待人有礼。这些人很可能是属于社会的中上阶级，平时在公司里八面玲珑，对待周遭的朋友更是随和、殷勤。因为客观因素的需要，他们已经练就了一套神功--笑里藏刀。别看他们事事都显得不在意，其实心里无时无刻不是在想着如何反败为胜，怎么通过“温和”的手段来提高自己的地位，如何用委美的文字掩盖自己的目的。他们不是不会“算”，而是懂得怎么“算”到你都不知道。而当你发现对方的用意时，恐怕早已被他“暗算”得体无完肤！

往往，一个人会不会“算”，用什么方式去“算”，取决于很多因素。有些生性如此，无法或不愿改变。有些本质纯朴，但是“亏”吃多了，撑饱了，不得不“学乖”，慢慢也就随波逐流，成为“算数”高手。

做人多少都要学会怎么“算”，学得越快，学费就少交点。我想，只要过程中不损人利己，那还不失为过吧！

Elmo's Colouring Book

Baby En loves Elmo. She has 2 Elmo toys at home and would ask to watch her Elmo VCD daily. Thus, we decided to bring her to watch the "live" show, Elmo's Colouring Book when I found out that it'd be playing at Downtown East.

I'd already expected that there'll be a booth selling Elmo's product there. So, the initial intention was to bring her Elmo toy along. Gosh! We forgot! That meant an extra $12.90 for her Elmo balloon (BTW, by now, the helium gas has more or less decided to float elsewhere. I'm forecasting that it'll be fully deflated in another week's time).

For the first half of the show, we simply couldn't excite her. She just sat there like a block of wood. Hmmmm, very unlike her usual self. What went wrong??? With Elmo and friends from Sesame Street singing and dancing away!! Finally, we pulled through till intermission.

Then, we went to buy some snacks as it had past her tea break. Hah!!! We found the answer! No energy lah!

For the entire 2nd half, she was back to her bubbly self, dancing away with the characters and asking Daddy to bring her to the front when the puppets came down from the stage. Boy, I guess Daddy must be thinking we should just starve her! Haha.

Now, she has been asking us to bring her to the Elmo show quite often. Baby, we'll go again when the show returns......

For The Safety of My Child

The safety of one's child is of utmost importance to a mother.

However, many people do not think likewise. Does the inconvenience of using your own vehicle surpasses that of a child's safety? Or even just taking the public transportation? For many, the answer is "Yes". It greatly saddens me to think that these people can be your nearest of kins, those that professes they love your baby - grandparents, uncles/aunts and even daddies!

Minor incidences don't seem to be able to knock senses into them, nor the true tragedies that we so often hear about. Is it that Singaporeans generally have a false sense of security? Or can it be simply because it's not their children? Are we waiting for something tragic to happen before we awaken from our stupidity??? By then, I'm afraid it's too late. Not every lesson needs to be learnt through self experiencing it.

As a mother, I feel a strong sense of failure when I'm unable to safeguard my child's welfare - in this case, we're talking about something as precious as a young life, when nobody seems to understand and I'm fighting a lonely battle. The next time, I promise, no matter how ugly the scene might become, I'll take a cab myself, under the uncompromisable condition that my baby gets strapped in her car seat for the entire journey.

I'm hoping with all my heart that someone or organisation out there can start a nationwide campaign to educate all on the importance of using the car seat.

Strapping your child in the car seat isn't just a Traffic Police's propaganda.

It concerns the life and death of your child!

~desperate Mommy

Ballet - 4th lesson

Unmistakably, the teacher requested for the parents to leave the class (See! I wasn't hard of hearing!). This time round, most of them did leave. So, I started to move.... THEN, teacher said, "No, no! You're SPECIAL! You cannot go, as she was scared last week."

Ha! So I stayed behind with 2 other parents (who persisted on being around after teacher's request). Hmmmm, should be fine today, since Mummy's with her.

Unfortunately, one of the girls wanted to visit the loo and her mum wasn't around. Thus, I volunteered to bring her there, as it's not easy to remove the dance apparel on her own (since no one else signaled they wanted to help). I explained to Baby En that Mummy will be back soon and leave.

When I returned, first thing I heard was, "She can't last a moment without Mum". Sigh......

To help or not to help????

宝宝念唐诗

小孩子的学习能力真的超强！

最近，我们给小宝贝买了一本幼儿唐诗鉴赏集。如常的，这喜新厌旧的小家伙天天都要爸爸、妈妈陪她读这本书。

有一天，当我在朗读《静夜思》时，小宝贝突然也跟着念。仔细听，还真不赖！接着，我便尝试朗读其他诗篇，谁知她的《春晓》更是厉害！

想不想瞧一瞧？记得要开扩音器哟！




只要能激起他们的兴趣，孩子们学起东西还真快！

遗憾

夜深人静，浏览着某朋友的部落格。读着她为即将回到社会工作的心情点滴，心中突然一阵抽痛。

是啊！为了种种原因，我实在是亏欠父母太多了。扮演好妈妈角色的同时，我却忽略了为人子女所该尽的本分与责任，这是我心里深处埋藏着永远无法抹灭的遗憾。

想到这里，情绪渐渐失控。眼泪不住地流，往事不断出现在脑海里......

大学毕业之后，人生面临无数次的挫折：情感、事业、金钱......自尊心一次又一次地受到打击。人前，我是坚强的。这道外墙的背后，隐藏着一颗极度脆弱的心。对外展示得越是强悍，内心越是不堪一击，一切都是自尊心作祟，不愿让他人看到跌倒了的我，即使是身边最信赖的朋友。

最沉痛的打击发生在我刚过24岁生日不久。整个人在一个月里爆瘦下来。吃不下饭，睡不着，成天躲在房里哭。身边的每样东西都有他的影子。接下来的日子更是难过，失去了工作，夜校课程正上到一半。从来鲜少泡夜店的我，一个星期最少泡上三、四天，而且一定等到打烊才离开。目的只有一个：用酒精麻醉自己。
这段期间，最难受的应该是妈妈。看着我哭，她也陪我一起哭。连情感表达较内敛的爸爸，也忍不住陪在我身边开导我。我知道他们怕我会想不开做傻事。

我是一个不受教的人。自己的主观意见很强烈，不怎么愿意听人劝，所以常会“撞墙壁”。结果往往得破财消灾。一次又一次的“学费”，除了父母，还会有谁帮我清还？这笔数目累积起来绝对不小。可是现在的我能拿什么去还？甚至连最基本的家用都没办法给。最可笑的是在等待房子那段期间，一家三口跟他们住，不仅吃他们的，用他们的，连一毛钱都没给他们！怀孕期间，也是妈妈自掏腰包帮我进补。他们虽从来没有任何怨言，可是我的心里真的很内疚。当一个人在经济上不能独立时，很多东西他都做不了主。

知道自己有时真的很不应该，由于脾气不太好，对妈妈表现得很不耐烦，说话的口气经常不太礼貌。事后想想，那些对你不好的人，你反而会尝试忍气吞声，为自己付出那么多的妈妈，为什么这样去伤她的心？真的很take things for-granted.

我的父母真的是这个世界上最好，最好的。有一天，当我自己有那个能力，一定会给你们世界上最好，最好的！

The Road to Independence

"En, En want to feed own self", "En, En take. En, En take...", "En, En brush. Don't want Daddy brush" yak ka yak, yak ka yak......

Guess she's exerting her independence now, my Baby who used to rely on Mommy for everything. But......
=======================================================================
"Teacher said that Mommy cannot stay with you in the class. So you have to behave yourself and follow what the teacher does, ok?" This conversation had been going on for the past week, prior to her 3rd Ballet lesson. All seems well, as she kept repeating the content herself.

On the actual day, after Teacher issued the invitation for parents to go, I repeated the request to Baby En and she was fine. So, I decided to make a move, stealing peeks at her on the way out to see that she's comfortable with me leaving. Though, it was kind of surprising that none of the parents who were in the room left (many of the kids were much older, about 5 - 6 yr old). Nonetheless, I left with the intention of coming back in half hr to give a check.

I was sitting in MacDonald's just beside the Dance Studio, when I saw a familiar image - My Baby En crying in the arms of another parent. On no! The kind lady told me that she had been clinging on to the teacher and crying. I consoled her, brought her back to class and reassured her that Mommy will not leave again. By then, the experience must have been too traumatic for her as she kept asking to go home, saying that she didn't want to dance anymore and she didn't like the teacher (Erm, I think part of the reason was because she saw my orange juice and fries. The Greedy Pig!). After some coaxing, she joined the class again and got relaxed enough to join in some of the activities.

After class, we went to apologise to the teacher for disrupting the class. Then she said, "She's too young to be left alone in class, though she was brave for a while :)." That got me scratching my head. Were you not the one who requested for parents to leave, or had I somehow misunderstood your message? Geez, anyway Baby, Mommy will be with you for the rest of the lessons. Muuuuuuaaaccchhhh!
=======================================================================
8 days away from school. Oh boy, that's a long period (after the long weekend followed by another 4 days of stomach flu and fever)!

Baby En seemed all ready and happy to go back to her friends. She was quick to go with the teacher and waved bye bye to Mommy. Teacher commended her for being able to adjust really well, unlike her fellow classmate, who would cry everyday when her mommy brought her in after the long weekend break.

At the end of the day when I picked her up, she did have a great time.

I guess what accounted for the difference in behaviour was the TRUST that she had for the people whom she was being entrusted to. Baby En had been with the childcare centre for 6 mths. She had settled in comfortably by now and had developed a trusting relationship with her teachers and peers. Whereas, Ballet Class is still a "strange" place to her.

Mommy will be more sensitive to your emotional needs, dear Baby.

请叫我“全职妈妈”

“家庭主妇”给人的印象总是成天在家里煮饭、打扫，上菜市场爱杀价，学历低，懒得打扮自己的auntie。虽然蛮抗拒自己被套上这四个字，可是更不屑于被称为taitai。

Taitai不就是那些一天到晚打扮得漂漂亮亮，即使在家也得全身珠光宝气，家中有无数佣人供使唤，“工作”范围除了泡spa，上美容院，做头发等，就是逛名牌店“血拚”，以提高自己的身份和“气质”。

对不起，这份“殊荣”我实在受不起。首先，我实在没有这种闲情逸致到这类高档场所去。更重要的是“资金”来源有限，没办法如此大手笔地去促进我国的经济发展。

我想，“全职妈妈”才是最适合我的称呼吧！因为我的“工作”就是好好哺育小恩恩，让她快快乐乐，健健康康地成长。我不愿在孩子的成长过程中，当一位“隐形”妈妈，更不希望孩子的价值观受到他人影响或左右。

每一个选择，必定有所要付出的代价。最终，一切到底值不值得，就看你对人生的定义是什么。

Dedicated to Baby Kaleb - Pass it on

The video attached speaks the sad story of a baby boy who's but 6 mths old.

Whether you are parents to young children, child-minders or just anybody concern about child abuse, do take some time to view it and pass it on.

Sometimes we do things in a fit of anger, please bear in mind that the consequences can be severe and irreparable.

Pray for baby Kaleb.

Add to My Profile More Videos

This is definitely not the 1st case. Let's try to make it the last.

I Love my "Job"

On and off, I get the feeling of frustrations from taking care of Baby En. For SAHM, it's like a 24/7 job. And when I get the occasional "off", it's actual work-time. So, there isn't much of private time to speak about.

Sometimes, you feel like you'll like to laze around and watch the 8.30pm programme on TV but it's her bedtime. As always, Mummy is the one who has to put her to bed. Well, if she guai guai goes to bed, then it's not too bad. However, when she's up to some mischief again, you really have to fight the urge to "strangle" her.

Just like any other job, you get your good days and bad days. It can be a breeze if she behaves well (that's when you know the tonnes of effort you put in at instilling discipline is working). And just when you're happily praising yourself at the results, the little monster decides to unleash itself and wreak havoc (perhaps after a day away from the "clutches" of Tyrant Mummy). That's when it really gets on your nerves, for what took you months to inculcate, comes to nought overnight and the cycle repeats itself. Sigh......

Putting aside the frustrations, being a full-time Mummy is the most rewarding career that I'd have so far. It has taught me to be much more patient and it's a job I can never, ever quit. Hey, that requires quite an amount of determination and perseverance ok!

Come on, look at it this way. Some mummies will be so green with envy that I can have my baby by my side, smelling her sweetness and busking in her kisses every night (not to mention listening to her saying "I love Mummy" over and over). When she wakes up occasionally at night now (ya, I know it's a disruption to your PRECIOUS sleep-time), the first person she calls out for is Mummy. It goes to show Mummy is a really important person to her (Ha, I hear someone saying losing sleep is nothing worth raving about. Sour grapes!). Moreover, soon enough, you'll find that she might not want you with her in her bed anymore. Thus, it's definitely worth treasuring it when she still loves your company.

Motherhood is GREAT!!!! (Only downside is $$$$$$ not enough)

Writing

Only recently do I discover that writing is one of my passion. Not that it didn't occur to me before but rather there wasn't any motivation for me to write.

I'm not the sort of writer who's able to profess my thoughts through flowery languages, or one that has an abundance of imagination. Writing is but one avenue for me to vent my frustration, air my thoughts and to record down memories of Baby En's growing up days.

Prior to starting my own blog, I had this habit of picking up any scrap pieces of papers to scribble on whenever my emotions got triggered big time and I have no where to vent them. These writings usually got missing/ disposed etc. after the incidents. But the bad feeling lingered, for I felt I was the only one bearing all these, with no one to turn to. Now, with my own blog, somehow it feels better, for somewhere out there, be it someone I know or just any strangers who chanced upon my pages, at least there's someone "listening". Quirky you may think. "Why does anyone want to 'air their dirty linen in public'? "some may ask. To me, it's like having someone there to share your problems with, without having to force it upon them to listen if they don't want to (like if I were to call up people).

Strangely, I slowly develop feelings of self-worthiness, knowing what I'm writing does touches others' life in one way or another. By chance, it has also created opportunities for me, for e.g. being selected as one of the Mommy Bloggers for Channel 8's programme - Superkids. I finally have some budget whereby I can dispose freely for the enrichment of Baby En (Do visit http://ch8.mediacorptv.com/superkids/mommyblogger.php to find out more.).

It has also opened my eyes to other non-conventional ways of earning some extra cash, with whatever spare time that I can afford, right from home, like contributing articles to some website. So far, I had 4 original articles posted on (http://www.helium.com/), mainly on issues which I'm interested in. Feel free to drop by and have a look:-

1. My personal take on marital life - http://www.helium.com/tm/376643/signifies-fresh-beginning-union

2. Tips on Potty Training - http://www.helium.com/tm/334123/sharing-things-picked-potty

3. Crocheting Tips (this is the article that's currently earning me $$$) - http://www.helium.com/tm/335782/learn-crocheting-interesting-economical

4. Motherhood - http://www.helium.com/tm/381068/feeling-frustrations-taking-occasiona

I'm hoping this new-found passion can really take me somewhere. Keeping my fingers crossed......

Ballet

As promised, here are the pics for Baby En's ballet apparel......














...and here's Baby En parading her dance gear!














Of cos, we got to see her in action, right?!

宣泄

你永远能轻而易举地挑起我的情绪，搞得我热血沸腾，语无伦次。孩子从你家回来，变得哭闹难驯，甚至病倒了，我还得七早八早带着一个已不舒服的孩子去应酬你，就因为是你的生日！

结果，我都没质问你孩子为什么会病倒，你又来同样一套“先发制人”，说什么因为我每天给孩子吃猪肉和虾，导致孩子发热。Come on!她整个星期没吃几次猪肉，因为正好这个星期我买的是鸡肉！而且孩子一星期最多也只吃两、三天的虾。跟你讲简直就是对牛弹琴嘛！你还不是自顾自地说不能吃太多虾，要吃多点鱼......喂！她可是每天都吃鱼的啊！孩子两年来都是我喂养的，怎么突然间对我处理的饮食得了“过敏症”？！

记得孩子上两回得了肠胃感冒，也是拜你所赐！明明自己已病倒了，还硬是要又亲又抱孩子，结果搞得家里的人一个一个被传染，连我的母亲也遭池鱼之殃，简直弄得人仰马翻。过了不知多久，你才心虚地说可能是你传染的。什么“可能”，根本就是！

这就是爱孙子的表现吗？那我宁愿你还是少“爱”她一点，免得爱她变成害她！

===============================================
M.C. 打电话来找Boy Boy,应该是要谈隔天载他去机场的事吧。突然间，怎么谈论的话题变得好熟悉？又是有人在那里“恐兵”了。没完没了，每隔一段日子总要重来一次，一样的话题，一样的牢骚，毫无新意，却总是能破坏我家的和谐与宁静。

出人意表的，这次的结局出现了转折--Boy Boy的态度与立场全然改变。他理直气壮地回答他已尽本分，能做的都做了，甚至承认自己在安排上，已经是表现得较偏向自己家人。

我想，他对这永无止息的话题也已累了，心里更是明白问题出现在哪儿。

Boy Boy,谢谢你！

===============================================
至M.C.的信：

请你不要再问我几时要再生一个。我明白你话里的玄机。有些东西，我不能直接对你说，要再生一个的阻力，不仅是我告诉你的。其中最主要的原因，尽是你推动我生多一个的动机。等你自己生了一个，或许你才能明白我的处境。

你们家的运作方式的确与我成长的模式有着天渊之别。对不起，我真的无法“拥抱”这种模式。它违背了我处事的原则，更与我的逻辑背道而驰。我只能做到一个“忍”。不是因为我怕，只因为他们都是Boy Boy的家人。

有一天，当你自己组织家庭，你一定会慢慢体会到我们所面临的难处与压力。

Good-luck!

很多事情，除非你身历其境，不然是无法体会他人所处的局面。

So,don't be so quick to say "I'll never......" or pass judgement on someone else's actions

-- “我”

First Time Filming

(Pictures courtesy of Charlene Chong)

So CLICHE! That was my first impression when I learnt we had to do some shots for Mommy Bloggers' trailer, and I still feel so after doing it ;-p. Me, acting?? Can't imagine!

It probably was more of a challenge for Terris and crew. Imagine having to deal with not one but TWO, not so camera "sensitive" cast or should I say 不懂得配合(they probably managed easier with Peilan and kids).

“说慢一点”、“轻松一点”、“眼睛不要转来转去”、“眼睛看上来”、“笑，有感情一点”......

"Baby, Elmo's mouth is smelly, spray Elmo", "Spray Elmo's backside", "Where's Elmo's belly button"......

"Ok, kiss Mummy", "Kiss longer", "Don't look at the TV"......

PHEW! Finally finished! Kind of apprehensive to see the final result. 一定很好笑！！

没天分就是没天分。嗨......