Who's the New HERO???

Find out now.... There can only be 1!

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1261325382816RA86

The Little Helper

The Prince literally left me in a big puddle of SHIT today, after his 3rd "bombing" exercise in the morning. Romper, bed sheet, mattress protector and his chou chou (his bean pillow), all weren't spared from the attack.

"Best" part of it was when he started getting grouchy from waking up earlier than usual. So I popped him into his sarong before going around clearing the "site". U think that's the end?? With the little devil, of course not! He wasn't going down quietly, someone had to swing him. And it's Big Sister Princess to the rescue. She swung him amidst the wailing so Mummy could do her stuff, while she was watching her DVD -- no complaints. Not to mention I was halfway through tying her hair into nice little plaits when the "commotion" happened.

The Princess was exceptionally good today. She volunteered to bathe herself after breakfast and did a pretty good job. It's a pity my network has been giving me problems uploading pics and videos......

My little darling, you really brightens my day. It's the last day of school, go enjoy your class party and bid sweet good-byes to your friends and teachers. Next year will be another fresh beginning.

Mommy, why does everyone want to be your friend??

That was what my Princess asked me yesterday. My answer to that -- Everyone wants to be your Di Di's friend, not my friend.

Those were the days when strangers came up to me to chat and play with my baby, commented about how chubby my precious was (with drum-stick thighs), wanting to carry her. Even when we were traveling, the language barrier was almost non-existent when even Japanese would come up to me and we would just "talk" with our hands and actions..... I thought those were the days long gone, till......

The Prince came along. I had always felt that the Princess was cuter, thus No.2 would not get as much attention. Apparently, I was WRONG, very WRONG. With those big round eyes and oh-so-familiar chubbiness, the Prince never fails to attract strangers wanting to be his "friends", especially when he's just so friendly, he smiles at practically anyone who coos and talks to him. Some of his funny antics, like pulling off his socks and chewing them in his mouth certainly adds to his "popularity" =p. So now, talking and smiling to strangers has again become part of my everyday life.

Hope that "Innocent" stare of yours can get us through immigration customs quicker if we should go overseas someday ; ).

~passport photo taken at 4 months

He Loves To......

As he grows and blossoms each day, he brings about new surprises. Together, we embark on our journey of discovery. Through it all, it is with his laughters, his smiles, that bring me tremendous happiness amidst the difficult times. 

Here are some things you love to do now, my little one, and I love them too :)

You love to SCREAM - When u want attention, when u r displease, when u r happy....

You love to LAUGH - Especially when u see Jie Jie n Mommy laughing at u

You love to GRAB - Your hands, your feet, anything that u can reach, and shove them into your mouth

You love to EAT - Ya, anything n everything u can get ur plump little hands on, and staring at people eating

You love to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE - Seems it's getting harder to entertain u

You love the AIRCON - And hates the heat

You love KICKING - That includes scratching your little feet against each other n cutting them

You love to be KPO - Even when u're feeding

There are just too many things that interest u now but I hope u'll always be interested in me.

My Baby Kang, soon u'll be 4 mths old......

It's been quite some time since I last blog about my little Princey, least talk about uploading his pictures. 2 more days n u'll be officially 4 mths old......

From the tiny little guy plagued by jaundice, frequently feeling tired n spending most part of ur days simply feeding n napping, suffering from colic n reflex thus wailing during almost every feed, wanting mummy n daddy to carry n rock u to sleep everytime and that BIG hernia on ur tummy...... it had been a TIRING yet truly FULFILLING time, especially having to struggle with another kid who needs equally much attention.

Today, the hernia is almost gone (merely a small stubble as compared to the 1 inch budge), u've gone from a tiny 3kg kitty to a respectable 7.7kg (as of last Fri). Although u're still pretty "gassy", it rarely bugs u. Much as I would like u to be able to sleep on ur own or through the night, u still need some help like swinging in sarong, breast feeding etc, however, I'm seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. For e.g., after u wake from a feed on the bed, sometimes u can go sooth urself to sleep again, though the frequent shaking of ur head against the bedding is probably going to cause some balding =P, u went to sleep this morning (n last evening) in ur rocker while I was making a rackets with the toys on them (Funny boy, with all the noise...).

Oh boy, some thing has not changed since Day 1 - u r one Greedy Pig. The Princess always needed to feed for at least 45min, even from the bottle. While u, my darling, needs just 5-10mins to finish ur meals most of the time. Good news is, u know when u're full and reject whatever attempts to feed u after that. But do u know that u can be really impatient during feeding?  Nowadays, everytime b4 Mummy's milk let down, u'll be frustrated till the milk comes flowing fast. Baby, I'm not a TAP. Just look at u staring at others eating. U're not ready yet, at least not for another 2-3 mths. Look at u gulping down ur probiotics! I can't catch up with u with a spoon!

Ur plump little hands, they are OH SO CUTE! To think Mummy hid them behind tiny mittens for a full 3 mths, all bcos u scratched urself so badly with those razor-sharp nails and we were too scared to trim them, in case we snipped ur little fingers (Daddy was guilty of that :( ). Once they were out of their little prisons, it didn't take them long to go on their escapade of exploration - aren't they beautiful? U never stopped marveling at them. U love to hold them together, as if u're praying, whenever u're feeding at my breast (thanking God for Mummy's milk??). It's ok if u love to tug at my shirt, bra etc but please my darling, don't PINCH me... sob sob... It'll be great if u can spare whatever u can get hold of from that little mouth of yours. Having ur little digits n clothing soaking wet with ur drool is more than "appetising" to look at already.

Mummy know that u do not like to be on ur tummy n hasn't quite gotten to flipping over yet, but u'd been doing a good job turning, getting on ur back from ur sides since u were 2 mths. Must be due to ur round, fat limps (like rolling a ball haha). And those back muscles, aren't they strong, trying to do sit-ups in ur car seat, rocker etc. Opps! Be careful! And u fell flat on ur face while sitting on the bed. Who asked u to lean forward?!

Soon, u'll be as big as jiejie. How I'll miss ur baby antics then...

(Been trying to upload pics n videos but can't seem to do so... sigh)

家有贱狗

很少提到我的长女--Fur Fur。

其实，有关她的故事还真不少！

这小捣蛋贪吃得很，只要一有机会，决不放过任何夺取食物的良机，即便是骨头，一旦被她刁到，你甭想能从她嘴里搅出。每当看到某人在进食，她一定凑过来，目的有两个：博取同情，摆出可怜兮兮的样子，盼能骗得你施舍些许食物给她。其二，则是趁人不备，从对方手中抢夺，并以迅雷不及掩耳的速度，将战利品吞食入肚。所有人都曾哉在她口下，特别是恩较小的时候，就常因此与她发生“口角”。

更厉害的是，她总会等到家无一人之时，跳上餐桌，只要让她嗅到一丝食物的气味儿，她一定用尽一切方法，将之取出，我们也因此折损了好几个塑料盒/罐。

不仅如此，她的性子跟一般小孩儿一样，如果太长时间被忽略，便会开始作“坏事”，如乱撕报纸，随地拉撒等等。最近一次，就发生在昨夜。我们吃了晚餐回来，一打开门，便看到满地的奶瓶盖、奶嘴......原来她弄翻了灭菌器，还刁走了瓶奶头去玩。这已不是第一次，在恩小的时候，她也曾偷过恩的奶嘴去吮吸，那画面还真搞笑！平时，她破坏一番后，一旦有人回来，便会“识相”地找地方躲藏。这回却更胜一筹，居然还搞离家出走，夹着尾巴头低低的往门外钻，不敢回来，直至她老爸把她抓回来。一进屋，便躲到长椅下，想必她也知道这次的篓子可闯大了！

可她也有可爱的地方。由于她是个大声婆，又挺“鸡婆”的，不管是电话响，还是有人回来，或是水沸了，她都要大声报告，结果不是吓倒康康，就是吵醒他。下场呢，就是被“封嘴”。一到下班时间，或是任何时候，我们事先知道会有人到访，一定会先裹上她的嘴，从那时起，她会变得惨兮兮、无精打采地趴在地上。通常她一看到有人拿出她的裹嘴带，便会找地方躲。今天，她却一反常态，在恩的爷爷来接她上学之前，竟然自动自发刁了她的裹嘴带给我老爸。难道她是要为昨天的过失赎罪？还是已经认命了？

真是家有贱狗！

我永远的宝

近几个月，脾气越来越暴躁，很容易为了小事发火，对恩也特别没耐性，无法忍受较高分贝的声量，下巴总是潜意思地咬得很紧，导致偏头痛。更可怕的是，对于自己的情绪，越发难以控制，真的感觉好像已经患上了--抑郁症。

为什么我会对孩子的多话感到厌烦？面对她的发问，总是表现得那么没耐性？动不动就对她吼叫......曾经何时，我变得那么恐怖、那么面目可憎？我真的很害怕，害怕在她的成长造成无法弥补的阴影，害怕从此失去这个孩子。这不是我想成为的母亲。

我的宝贝，如果有一天，你不再爱妈妈，认为妈妈讨厌你、不疼你，我希望你能原谅妈妈。

妈妈对你的爱，永远不会变 。

"Kindly" Advice

Be it with the Princess or the Prince, I'd been "blessed" with people who'd come to me with their "kindly" advices - u shouldn't carry/ rock the baby to sleep, u shouldn't/ should use the sarong, sucking the hand is better/ pacifier is better, u should supplement with formula etc etc.

Many a times, these "words of wisdoms" turned out to be contradictory, as they were based on the individuals' experiences n beliefs. But they were all done with the same motive - trying to tell me that I had done the WRONG thing. And that if I had started off with their method(s), things would have been easier....

U can say that I am difficult to "educate" or I'm plain stubborn, but the fact is, if I listened to every one of the well-meant advices, wouldn't my kids be totally confused? In the end, being "right" in the eyes of some, simply meant that I'm still doing the "wrong" things and I'd end up with frustrated kids who needed to be re-programmed again n again.

Who wouldn't want to do things the easy way, let the babies sleep on their own, "teach" them to sleep throughout the night, ensure they r free from colic/ reflux or whatever that's causing them discomfort? Before u start "sharing" ur "expert" views, do bear in mind that all babies r born unique, into families of differing cultures, made up of parents n grandparents having their own sets of beliefs, tolerance level n working manner. It would be really kind to share some experiences with people u see facing the same child-rearing difficulties, for e.g. "My baby had the same prob. I tried XXXX n it worked. Perhaps u may want to give it a try." But if ur intention is otherwise....

Imagine when u're trying to sooth a cranky baby to sleep, rocking n carrying him in ur arms, walking around. For those who r blessed with sleep-on-their own babies, u probably won't understand how frustrating n tiring this can be. How would u feel if someone comes up and say, "U shouldn't be rocking him/ her. That's y he's/ she's so used to it now." In the first place, if the baby can go to sleep without fussing n wailing ON THEIR OWN, why would anyone want to make life difficult for themselves? Anyway, such an "advice" does not offer any solution, and only serves the purpose of trying to "CORRECT" someone. If that's all the kindness u can offer, PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE!

I'm blessed with 2 kids that give me joy, to be able to see them daily, sharing their smiles n love. Though they r definitely not the ez-to-take-care type, both needing extra extra extra efforts to get them to sleep (though the prince seems a little better), I do appreciate some empathy n people willing to share ways they'd tried n worked, however if the best u can offer is pointing out my "mistakes", it will be most sympathetic of u to just zip-up.

THANK Q!!

The Yardstick of Life

How much does a human life cost? Difficult to quantify right.. I would have to say, it all depends....

Let me quote an e.g., Baby LOVED - born with multiple disabilities to a set of parents Bob n Jane, already tied down by mounting housing loans, credit card bills n loans from meeting everyday basic needs. The medical bills to be incurred for treating Baby LOVED, or just to extend his life for maybe a couple of years, perhaps just months or days meant that the family would be thrown into a spiraling whirlpool of financial distress. But never for a second did Bob n Jane stop to contemplate the course of action they should take. For them, it's a simple decision - No matter what they have to give up, they were willing to go forward, even if it meant that Baby LOVED could have just 1 more day left, they would make it the happiest day for him, whatever the cost. Baby LOVED died soon after, because Bob n Jane couldn't afford to send him to a better medical facility.

Just 2 streets down the road, in a pristine district where every household was guarded by high walls n stringent security, Baby Posh, born to Charles n Chloe, was given the best the moment she entered this world - clothing from the likes of LV, Ralph Lauren etc., Nursery decorated n furnished with the softest of silk.... but Daddy n Mummy were hardly at home. Well, Baby Posh had an entire cohort of servants, nannies to serve her, so it didn't matter. Once, Baby Posh fell n to the horror of her care takers, it left a scar on her pretty chin. When Charles n Chloe were informed of the mishap, they swiftly dialled the number of their trusted Aesthetic Surgeon. Within a couple of weeks, Baby Posh couldn't be any prettier than before.

Why, Baby LOVED's life is worth so little, some may say. It's just his "luck" to be born to parents like Bob n Jane. While Baby Posh, the princess of Charles n Chloe, with just a tinkle n her skin is bright as porcelain again.

How can we compare the value of one whose life is worth ALL the love of his parents to one whose just worth whatever money could buy? I know many beg to differ...

Ultimately, how much is my life worth?? For some, perhaps as much as the air we breathe (I certainly hope so) or for others, less than the few shillings in their pockets lying in a stash of notes???

I Wish

I wish upon the stars,

to watch upon my precious,

keep them safe from harm,

let them sleep in peace.

I wish upon the wind,

let my troubles fly,

as far as u can,

let me be free.

I wish upon the bright, bright sun,

shine upon me, with all your might,

cast my gloominess aside.

Show me a path, to the paradise I so longed for......

Why is there such a person????

I really don't understand, is it so difficult to respect other's privacy, leave them some breathing space?

Why? Why? Why? When I show u some degree of friendliness, u have to test that limit, comes over everyday, always around dinner and to top it off - WITHOUT INFORMING ME!

Can't u learn to respect other's time? I may not be free, I may have to feed my baby, I may want to go out?

Can't u respect other's space? I may not wish to entertain guests, I may want to do my own things, I may simply want some quiet time.

It's really dejavu, cos I had seen these images clearly in my mind before, and it's happening real time now. And I'm absolutely pissed cos it has been proven again that he will always be someone else's son.....

我的心情很“忧”

刚生产的产妇，心情较为郁闷是可以理解的。在这段期间，更需要家人的体谅与关心。

不幸的是，不仅因为初期伤口所带来的不适，而无法好好休息，孩子又得进出医院，而一切得由我一人包办，自己到医院、诊所去，一天上下好几回，身心本已疲劳不堪，更糟的是，还得被他人的情绪所累，搞得心力交瘁，甚至很想就此放弃，带着两个孩子远离这是非地。

9年的光景，我终于忍无可忍，发了一通我早该发的简讯。我做好了最坏的打算，一通挂上白旗，宣告投降，为的仅是换回我与孩子过宁静日子的权利。希望他能懂得珍惜那不被重视，但是却十分孝顺的儿子，祝他快乐。

其实，我并不期待他会有任何反应，更不想再纠缠下去，正好他打电话来时，孩子在哭闹，也就顺理成章的不接来电。他还是来了，我们谈了一段时间，把累积在心里的话说了出来，虽然是有些许的帮助，解除了燃眉之急，但是从这次的交流，其实我能感觉到，大家仍是有自己的一套理解与做法，要真正达到共识，绝非一件易事。更重要的是，我们之间的那道桥梁，扮演着极其重要的角色。如果他始终无法尽这沟通之桥的重任，情况恶化的局面，在所难免。

我不能因为别人的老思想，而为我的人生作出妥协。更讽刺的是，他明知道这是老派思想，话里行间讲的都是“面子”问题。当你要别人顾及你的面子的同时，你可曾照顾过他人的感受与立场？

看来目前的情况只是缓兵之计，无论他有多好，始终还是别人的儿子。

Finally...Home

As usual, I woke up and gave the Nursery a call to check when is Baby's next feed at ard 6.30am. Was told that he just had his milk, and that I'd just need to go at about 10am. That's kinda a long stretch from his current feed so I thought I'd just go earlier. After checking with the nurse, I was told that I'd probably only know if he can be discharged at 10+am after the doc checks him. So I have to lug his EBM supply with me. Since he may be going home later on, I decided to pack his clothing, mittens and wrap.

Left the house with all the barang barang at 8.35am and reached KKH at 9.10am. Decided to get a magazine first least I may need to wait for Baby to be certified for discharge later. By the time I reached the Nursery, I was told that the doc will be giving him his check and that I can feed him after.

Yeah! He can come home today. So I got about to feeding him, before changing him. The nurse briefed me about feeding him more frequently today so he excretes more, as I'll need to bring him down to the polyclinic again tmr for SB check. Also got a surprise - his umbilical cord had fallen off.

So I got about packing the EBM (which was left in the Nursery's fridge just after I arrived), Pampers, wet n dry tissues, then lugged 2 big bags on each shoulder, scooped my darling and headed for our drive home. Not bad huh, doing everything alone. Haha... the senior nurse commented I was an efficient mum. Great to hear that hehe....

Ahhh... Home Sweet Home....

The Naked Batman

Called the Nursery this morning ard 6.30am to enquire when is Baby's next feeding. They told me he was just fed at 6am so the next feed will be ard 9am. Thus, I canceled my postnatal massage appointment, and started getting ready to visit him at 7.45am. Of cos I brought with him my 3 bottles of frozen EBM, packed in a tuppleware of ice and drove myself there.

It was close to 9am when I arrived as there was heavy morning traffic. However, the nurse told me that he was sleeping. I told her it's his feeding time and I was informed to come down at this timing. Thus, they allowed me in and when I got to see him, what greeted me was a little naked Batman (dressed only in his diapers and sleeping on his tummy as if he was kneeling). Ya, he had this white mask ard his eyes... Poor thing.

He refused to wake up no matter how I nudged him but finally decided to suckle and feed with his eyes closed. After feeding for about 15min on one side, he refused to open his mouth when I tried to get him to latch on the other side. No matter how i teased his mouth, he just won't open it. One stubborn fellow. So I had to give up after trying for about 5min and passed him back to the nurse, as I was told that it's better not to carry him away from the light for too long.

Apparently, he was put on 2 lights instead of 1, which was discussed previously and they just switched to 1 light this morning around 8am. This meant that he had to be monitored for another 24hrs before we know if he'll be released. His jaundice level did drop to abt 260, which is still not good enough.

Sigh, guess I'll drop by the hospital again this evening with Daddy to top up his EBM supply and give him one night feed. Hope to see a less "yellowish" n more alert boy....

"Vital Statistics"

Decided to record down some numbers, just so that if there's a "next time", at least I have something to refer back to sooth my worries:-

Baby's First Poo - early morning the next day in hospital. Was informed by the nurse when she passed him to me for first feed in the morning. Then he stopped totally and I had to check with the nurses from KKH's Call-a-Nurse helpline when he was 3 Days old. Was told to monitor one more day, and if he still hasn't poo by end of next day, then we'll have to bring him to the doc. God bless he pooed a little nearing end of his 4th day. From then on, there's no stopping him.

Photo-therapy - admitted after 2nd SB check-up at polyclinic (6th day after birth. SB level had jumped from 147 to 297). Told by doc his weight is fine so he'd only go on one light, which translated to an earlier release. However, he'd need to be under the light for min 24 hrs. So earliest possible timing for discharge will be 5pm this evening. Crossing my fingers.

Mummy's First "Cake Baking" Session - Tried once in hospital, just couldn't make it. All I felt was more pain from the pushing and was advised by the nurse not to do it, so that I don't hurt my wound. Was informed by Doc that patients will usually only start again after discharge from hospital. Guess wat? Even with the liquid paraffin, it just wouldn't work. Finally, my poor contipated xxx got it's relief after 5 whole days! Trust me, the whole area felt so much relaxed n the pain more bearable after the episode.

Itching - Was down with the ITCH for both times. Though the symptoms were different. First time was hives, now rashes. Looks like heat rash to me, but the affected area is huge, spunning almost the entire body. Cause(s) unknown as of now.

Perineal pain - started getting excruciating after effects of epidural wore off. Taking 2 types of pain killer (paracetamol n Mefenamic acid only helped that much). Gotten much better only after the first major loo visit.

It's totally UNBEARABLE

Just when I need more energy and strength, why do I have to break out in rashes???

The intolerable itching is really killing me, especially when nothing I tried works - showering, creams, antihistamine, heat rash powder... what else???!!!! How did the rash come about? The last time I had hives during confinement, and now..... am I fated to itch after birthing??

Ahhhh! And I have to take my milk down to KKH for Baby and breastfeed him. The GP won't be open till 8.30am. Don't care lah, guess I'll go down to the hospital first to feed him before proceeding to clinic. Just gotta bear with it.

Sianz......

Jaundice AGAIN!

The same thing happened to En 4 years ago.

Baby Ying Kang was diagnosed with SB reading of 147 the day after his discharge from hospital. We went for a review today at CCK polyclinic and the numbers shot to 297.

Frankly speaking, I had expected something like this to happen, cos this was exactly the same case for En. He looked really yellow since a few days ago and I had more or less predicted that he might be admitted to KKH for photo-therapy during today's visit. True enough, this was the case.

Even though this has been something which I had anticipated, it pains me to have to send him to hospital and leave him there alone. Everytime I see them pricking his little foot and squeezing blood from him, it just felt so bad. And if it's going to be anything like En's experience, he will have to go through this painful process for the next 1 mth plus....

The only thing that I can do for him now is to express as much milk as I can for him, so that he still gets Mummy's love when I can't be around. I will bring them to him tomorrow morning and pray that he can be discharged by evening.

Mummy loves you.

老公，我真的要对你说声谢谢！

很多时候，我都会在这里发发对你的牢骚，其实我要让你知道，在我心里，你还是很不错的。

就拿这几天来说，自从小颖康呱呱坠地，你就一直陪在我身边，无论是扶我上厕所，帮我拿水、拿食物、药物，半夜起床把Baby抱给我，替Baby冲凉、换尿布、抱抱他......没有你的照顾，关心，这些日子我真的不知要怎样过。

明天，你就要回到那地狱般的工作，虽然有妈妈在，可是我真的不敢想象你不在的日子。特别是，我的伤口还是很痛、很痛，痛得连在床上翻个身，都有问题，更不用说坐立或上厕所。

What will I do without u, my Pillar of Strength??

陈颖康 - 终于看见你的脸

2009年6月2日 - 日盼夜盼，我的小颖康终于决定来报到。

1am： 起床，再无法入眠。

2.30 - 4.30am： 数数数，大概每5分钟就一次阵痛。是时候叫爸爸起床了。

5.30am：到医院报到。这次较麻烦，要在一楼登记，再到二楼的Delivery Suite。回答了一些诸如几时开始阵痛，多频繁等等等问题，终于到产房报到。接下来就是换衣，让护士检查，继上monitor，等待Dr JT的到来......

医生穿着T-shirt来报到，接下来就是刺破羊水袋，吊点滴（包括催生剂Oxytoxin）。Dr JT说如果要注射epidural，最好是8时过后，用一剂就好了；p。心想，没问题啦，结果7.30am左右，阵痛越来越剧烈，终于忍到八点，注射了epidural。

之后，JT 又来检查了一次，大概只dilate了3cm。他说前5cm较慢。果然，11+时许，几分钟内便从5cm扩张到10cm。接下来，就是push,push,push,等医生来接生。终于，护士叫我别在push了。12时后，JT来了，再推几下，Baby终于出来了！这次我真的看到他出来的过程！12.15pm - 你终于来了。

What a feisty fellow! 一出来就发出响亮的啼哭声，一直到做了所有的清理工作，量体重、体积等等，Baby到了我怀了，开始喝nene，才安静下来。

~ 产房里

~ 一天大

~ 父子

~ 四天 - 与姐姐在一起

~ 四天

This Is It....

This is the last time I will see my Baby in 2D B/W.

Had felt my baby really low yesterday afternoon, just above my vaginal... then I felt like peeing every 10 mins or so.... By the time I left home to fetch K for my Gynae check up, the cramps on my lower abdomen became really frequent and it lasted hrs even after the check-up. I had a feeling it couldn't be too far...

True enough, Doc JT "certified" me as 1.5cm dilated. Baby is going to come anytime during the next few days. So he gave me 2 options:-

1. Let nature takes it course - set appointment for next Mon and get ready to go hospital anytime

2. Fix appointment to go hospital on Fri

I'd been experiencing loads of discomfort for the past days n practically having 3 hrs or less sleep each night, so I told him ASAP.

Guess what he said??? Then come in hospital on Wed 7.30am and we'll induce u (so there was a 3rd option).

Ok lor, Baby will come out latest tomorrow......

As I'm typing away, I can already feel the contractions coming n going between 5-10 min interval (not the lower abdomen cramping)... it could be today... and I certainly hope so.. Had been up since 1am... It's a good timing he's coming when En just started School Holidays, so that I can fetch her to school in 1 mth's time... though En will probably have to miss her "promotion" to Pre-Primary Ballet class this afternoon... will wait it out at home today... Guess both my darlings will be out in 38.5 weeks....

Bless us :)

Memories

As I was sourcing for Buffet Catering for Baby's First Month Celebration (kiasu haha), I decided to visit Rasel's website, where we catered for our ROM Poolside Reception 5 years ago. We had a good experience with them as they had a very flexible, international menu then, whereby we can select a very individualised menu based on per item per head count basis. The best part was that the pricing was really attractive and they were able to provide a Thematic setup for us.

However, they no longer provide such a flexible menu anymore, though the selection is still generally attractive. As I was screening through the various tabs, I came across their Wedding Galleries. When I clicked on the "By The Pool" tab, it all looked so familiar... Hey! Isn't that my wedding setup from 5 years ago??! And I didn't even know they took pics n posted on their website. Anyway, thanks to them, I have some nicely taken pics to remember the special event by (my one n only wedding function).

~ pictures extracted from http://www.rasel.com.sg

安静

我是个需要安静的人。

很“不幸”的，我身边却有一对大、小蜜蜂，无时无刻在我耳边嗡嗡响，搞得我心烦气躁，有时连吃顿饭、看份报纸或上网都不得安宁。

有没有试过，一个小时内，连环炮似的三、四通电话，都是同一人打来？一个人，一踏进门，毫无“惊喜”的，第一件事就是念念念。不管做什么，还是念念念。叫她不要做，还是念念念......更糟的是，还会跟小孩子一起“争锋吃醋"，“抢”你的注意力，两只蜜蜂一起出击，小的已显出不快，大的那只还不知退一步，继续与她争妈妈的注意力，叫我不发火都难。这还不是致命伤，恐怖的是，大蜜蜂极度敏感，很喜欢通过别人的语气（比如电话里啦），乱加入自己的解读，在找你开战。一旦她盯上你，无论你说什么都没用，非抖个两败俱伤，才能收场，屡战屡试，不见倦色。

小的那只呢，真是“悲哀”。为什么偏就得了隔代遗传，好传不传，就中了“碎碎念”这绝症。她很喜欢重复性地讲同样的事件，讲了又讲，乐此不彼。无论在讲些什么，先决条件是，一定要你参与。参与的定义就是，也要跟着讲，不可以只点头、摇头等，不然她就对你发飙。

本人的忍耐指数超低，碰到这两只贴身蜜蜂，有时真有“生不如死”的感觉。嗨，苦海无涯，回头也找不到岸......

Will this be IT?

As I'm typing away now, I'm wondering if my Baby is going to come out real soon. Had been having the runs since this morning. 4 Times already.... Moreover, last night, I could only sleep ard 2am. Prior to that, I was getting out of bed like every 15 mins to empty my bowels. Was also experiencing more n more pressure beneath, especially when I'm lying down and shifting my body position. Was particularly bad last night.

Could this be it?? Well, I really can't be sure, cos the last time, it was due to leakage of amniotic fluid so I didn't quite get to monitoring my contractions after induction of labour. Though it quite felt like feelings of wanting to pass motion too...

It's 37 weeks n 2 days now.. Baby is safe to come if he wants to. Just hope I don't end up delivering in the house/ car ;p.....

"Promotion"

We missed a ballet lesson last week cos En wasn't feeling well (high fever of 39.8C, vomitting etc) since Sun night and I decided to self-quarantine her for entire week to let her fully recover from her long standing flu (how long u may ask.... close to 6 mths since we returned from States... on/off, on/off.. ahhh).

After reaching the mall, En requested to change in the toilet instead of the studio, so we did just that. Then, we proceeded to class. As we entered the school, the admin lady was busy making phonecall. She asked," Teacher Melissa just got into an accident, I called u to inform u about it." "I didn't receive any calls," I replied. "But somebody did answered n said the maid has already left with her gal for lesson." "Then it couldn't have been me cos I do not have a maid." Think she marked the wrong name on her list. Anyway, what's important was that the teacher wasn't hurt. Couldn't blame her as she received the info abt 10 mins ago, for which I had already reached the mall anyway.

Then, she proceeded to inform me that En's teacher actually recommended that she be promoted to Pre-primary class (for >5yrs) as she was very attentive in class n could follow the instructions well. I asked how many in her class was promoted and she replied 2. Well done, Gal (though she's probably at an advantage cos she had done ballet for abt 1.5 years as compared to the rest)! But that would mean that she'll have to adjust to a new teacher n classmates, and she may not like it, as she chose to attend this class after attending lesson by her current teacher. We shall see. Anyway, currently there's no classes with suitable slots for Pre-primary, so I'll continue to keep her in Creative till new classes commence.

Btt, the admin lady was really nice. Firstly, En's MC was for Mon (ballet is on Tues), but she happily accepted the MC. Then, when I checked with her regarding the topping up of fee (as Pre-primary cost $10 more/ term as it's 1 hr session, instead of 45min) as En just started her new term based on Creative's fee, she readily mentioned that we do not have to pay extra, as it's just abt $10 difference. Though the amount may be small, nonetheless it's really nice of them to be so flexible n accommodating (I had previously asked if I could defer her lessons when I go on confinement n the answer was "Yes").

它，是一种五味杂陈的情感。

它，可以是自私的，激发人心的妒忌，让你无法忍受与任何人分享，怀疑自己是否就是他心中的“第一”。

它，可以使你陷入万劫不复痛苦的深渊，变得歇斯底里，变成魔鬼，吞噬掉全世界造就你痛不欲生的一切，甚至于自我毁灭。

它，可以撕心裂肺，犹如一把利刃，一次，又一次，再一次。。。。。。不断地，重复地刺入你的心，直至血肉模糊，血流不止，一滴、一滴、一滴。。。。。。

它，可以使你万般牵挂，牵肠挂肚，不舍、思念、期盼着过日子。

它，可以使你愤愤不平，甚至于愤怒，为的是他所受的不平等待遇、欺压，只恨自己无力解救他于这水深火热。

它，在当你望着他那苍白的脸，被病魔缠身，无法摆脱时，当你知道他在为你们的将来打拼，承受无比压力，你心里的痛、流的血、掉的泪会比所有一切深百倍、千倍、万倍。

尽管它未必荡气回肠，尽管它可能淡如止水，它却是这般缠人，就只因为“爱”。

Riding the waves....

It had been a challenging time since we came home, esp for this couple of weeks. I guess the reasons r plenty - K's unhappiness at work, re-adjusting to life beyond our own little family, more hectic lifestyle having to fetch En to-n-fro school everyday, increase in familial commitment etc, physical challenges (we have been falling sick one after the other, consecutively, ever since we return, non-stop, so much so the doc's office had become our regular haunt. We must have visited our GP for at least 7-8 times in total since Dec), discomforts from this pregnancy (made worse by my sickness), hormonal changes, the unbearable heat that's causing me rashes outbreak everywhere...... So much so that situation had gotten somewhat out-of-hand in the last weeks, that I'd wallowed in so much self-pity with feelings of being neglected, uncared for n unloved. It must have been a tough time for K too, for I believe he's also going through a very rough patch at work. Being the sole breadwinner, with another mouth to feed soon, the pressure must be intense. Perhaps that accounts partly for his insensitivity. I tried to understand but sometimes when little things add up, over a period of time, it's just too difficult.....

After that particularly scary incident ( I'm sorry I might have traumatised En), I really felt the need to just offload all that's been bugging me, how unbalanced n disrespected I felt at times. And I'm truly surprised n touched at the outcome of my no-holds-bar confession. Something I truly need in a time like this. I hope that things can really take a turn for the better, esp with Baby coming soon (n Yes, he's still superbly active, esp as my cough is disturbing him. I guess he must be very anxious to come out).

Frankly speaking, I do foresee myself going a little crazy after birth (as with En). My dear Boy, hope that u can be my pillar of strength n give me a little extra love, patience n care. 我比上次老了，体力没那么好，又有两个小瓜要照顾，所以真的需要更多的support.

煮妇的假期

我也想去一趟煮妇的假期，没有时限，没有目的地，没有人知道。只有孩子与我，两个人，去我们的疗伤之旅。

四岁的孩子，情绪其实已不只限于号啕大哭的宣泄。我怎么知道？有一回，她晓得我在生某某的气。某某拿了她的水瓶去喝，她便开始在车上唠唠叨叨，不让某某拿。以我对某某的理解，其实早已知道会发生事情。平时，我会出声制止她，可当时，我在气头上，也懒得理。

果然，接下来就是突如其来的咆哮声：“This is my car! U get out of my car!” 整辆车一时鸦雀无声。这是很不寻常的。果真，我伸手去抚摸她的小手，她转过头来，鼻头红红的，勉强挤了个笑容给我，两滴泪不由自主地滑落，她静静用手抹掉......我的心真得好痛，她只不过是四岁的孩子，怎得会和我一样暗自伤心？

庆幸的是，孩子情绪的反转，想对大人而言，是瞒快的。可是，如果事件一再发生，那种伤害始终无法磨灭。当我们作出某种情绪反应时，可曾想过，对身边的人会造成怎样的影响？留下多深的阴影与烙印？

我想真的该去悠长假期了。

永远的“大小眼”

一星期前，本来是要到蔡厝港华人坟场扫墓，通知某某之后，他就一直说会塞车啦、没地方停车啦等等等。其实，在这之前，老爸早已通知我只需去阿公家拜拜即可，因为他也担心到时坟场会塞车，早早就吩咐我不用去。我却故意不说，决定“见机行事”。

到了拜拜那天，我还是决定不去了，因为老妈也提议我作罢，说是哪儿烟雾弥漫，对孕妇不好，毕竟我怀孕快8个月了。

几天后，某某突然说（他们家做事总爱last min通知）他老母跟他说今天要扫墓，而且可能要去好几个地点，他大舅可能会租巴士，全家一齐去环岛拜拜。他满心期待，说是好久没去了。我说如果需“跋山涉水”，那是不可能的，因为我即使是坐着或躺着，都经常会发生呼吸困难，更别说在大太阳底下“攀山越岭”的，搞不好岂不一尸二命。然而，他说我们可在巴士上等（呵呵）。最后，因为他外婆决定只到一处，便决定各自出发，到万里坟场。这情况岂不和我们当初去蔡厝港坟场的情况一样，得面对塞车、没停车位等问题？谁知当初的诸多不便，如今他却只字不提。这次可没父母为我设身处地的着想，ok lor，还是那句“见机行事”。

出发前，我老妈“好言相劝”，可是“忠言逆耳”，我们还是“依计行事”。结果，还未转进万里路，车龙已是见尾不见首，车子根本无法向前行驶。可又不见某人意兴阑珊，反观还主意多多，决定另觅去路。兜了一圈，从汤盛路驶入，情况虽较好，可是到了驶入坟场的交叉口，情况依然恶劣。

到了此时此刻，仍然无人作声，一旦转入交叉口，便是进退两难了，不知会堵上几小时。既然无人照顾我的处境，我只好“自保”，便提议让他父母在车站下车，与其他人会合，我们等他们拜完再来充当司机。可是某某却一意孤行，一定要驶进去。他说要我们在车里等！天啊！这一等要等上几小时，开冷气会导致一氧化碳中毒，不开冷气岂不变成炭烤烧猪？？？后来，我家婆不好意思，提议下车，他还是坚持己见，直到我家翁也决定下车，他才只好作罢。

我心里真的真的很气，不仅生气，也很不服气。我一而再，再而三的给他机会，这么多年了，他还是“大小眼”！最不应该的是，他始终不懂得关心及爱惜我，更谈不上保护。这起事件，只不过是冰山一角，我真的不再指望他会发自内心的爱护我了。

En's 4th birthday

Strictly speaking, this is the 1st time that we actually have a mini party for En in her school for her birthday (last year in Challenger, all bday kids were only allowed a "Spotlight" session where we can share some pics n have a bday song. No cakes nor gift packs allowed). She was naturally very excited about it and would be checking with me when is the Day, prior to the celebration. Cos that's when she gets to have her self-chosen Chocolate Disney birthday cake and put on her Cinderella Princess costume. Had negotiated with her teacher that she gets to change into it on her bday, as we are not having a party at home so she won't get to wear it otherwise (BTW, the costume was specially ordered while we were in the States and it arrived the day before we were leaving for good. Had to rushed to Monarch Meadow's management office few mins before it closed for the day/ holiday as we were out and the package was left there. Phew! Luckily managed to retrieve it before our morning flight the next day).

Initially, I had an argument the day before with Daddy as he mentioned he wouldn't apply for half day leave. However, he called to ask me to lunch with him on the actual day. Turned out he had already requested for leave but he just wanted to spite me lor... So we set off to give darling a surprise in school, as the party was scheduled for the last 15-30min of school.

We collected the cake from Bengawan Solo United Square, then proceeded to her school. She was really happy when I got to her class and brought her to change into her pretty costume. Then we went downstairs to surprise her with Daddy.

It was time for the celebration. So we went back to her class, while the teachers gathered her classmates and got ready to sing her birthday song. Seems we ordered too big a cake, as we were told by Yu laoshi that the kids usually eat little and we ended up with abt 1kg of cake left out of 2kg. True enough, they do not seem too keen to finish the cakes.

Finally, it's time to go, which meant time to give out the party packs! En helped to give out the bags (each pack contains of specially selected pencil, sharpener and small notepad, hand-wrapped by Mummy, plus a Frugurt :)).

Certainly hope my Darling will have a pleasant memory of the day for the many years to come.

Happy Birthday my PRECIOUS!

Baby, Baby

This year is certainly a Baby Boom year, at least for friends and relatives ard me :)

Since I returned from the States, I had already known of 5 new babies, with 1 just delivered over the weekend (all boys haha). And there will be more to receive in 2009 (at least 3 more, including mine, of cos :)).

Frankly speaking, not all the pregnancies were/ are smooth-going. In fact, for one of my close frens, she had pregnancy complications for her past pregnancies. However, looking at the adversities that she faced, be it through her pregnancies, family challenges, relationship issues etc, I truly marvel at her tenacity in the face of problems. Seldom did I hear her complaining, whenever she talked abt the issues she faced, they were usually in a matter-of-fact manner. Rather than lamenting on how "unfortunate" she was, she took everything in her stride, focusing on finding solutions, instead of wallowing in self-pity. It's not for me to share her challenges here, but believe me, many would have given up/ broken down if put in her shoe ( I certainly won't fare as well). For someone with her strength, I certainly hope that she'll be blessed with an easy pregnancy this time round. If God had meant for the previous experiences to be a test, she has proven herself way beyond expectations.

Perhaps due to a difference in life experiences, family background or simply character build-up, there r also some who find it tough to face up to the changes brought about by the new life growing n blossoming in their body. It is understandable that every pregnancy is unique and so is the body of every mum-to-be. Sometimes, it is ez to fall prey to the depressing feelings n discomforts, esp with raging hormones working against us ;p, not withstanding the fact that it may be difficult to get the men ( which by no fault of theirs, that they haven't the opportunity to go through the exhilaration of carrying a new life in their body, to marvel at experiencing the tiny one boxing ard in their tummy) to empathies with what we're going through and the price we have to pay thereafter (the "disfigurement" of our body - flabby tummy/ bumps, drooping b**ps, cellulite, varicose veins, stretch marks etc. They would rather invest in a new set of rims for their tyres than pay for "re-constructive" work to be done on our "abused" wares which need some extreme makeover). However, as mothers (or future mums), we have a life we need to be responsible for, to care n protect, to give the best we can n nurture for, so that he/ she may grow to be a happy n healthy (be it physically or emotionally) individual. Shouldn't we strive to be a living example n try to lead happier lives ourselves?

For me, I'm far from a saint. I have my complaints abt the discomforts of pregnancy, abt wanting more attention from my hubby. Plague by insomnia, back ache, PGP, with a bump n thighs growing way beyond proportion, breathlessness that comes even when I'm sitting, lying down or standing still that causes bolts of faintness n panic attacks and recently Carpal Tunnel Syndrome which causes pain in my right hand, I can be assured of more to come in the following mths. However, I must say, in general, I do enjoy being pregnant! This is a privilege for women. The thought of having a new life in me, someone I can call MY baby, this is enough to carry me through.

I know that when Baby 2 comes along, there will be a period where I may be going through some depressing moments, when I will feel like I'm going crazy, when I will be asking if I'd ever be able to bond with him, when even my mum will be doubting if I'll be able to handle life as a mum all over again..... however, I know one day, as I look back, I will relish at those moments just as I am doing now with my darling En. Being the Stubborn One, somehow, I will manage to raise n nurture my 2 babies, be it through more knocks on the wall, even lesser Me-time whatsoever. Simply because I am a MOTHER.

To: Fathers/ Fathers-to-be

Don't forget to show more support for your wives, pamper them a little if u can. It's never ez to go through the process of child-birth.

And if u're thinking of splurging on that new Tag Heuer, or that new car, or some spectacular sports rim, or a new golf set, or simply u have a little extra to spare, some sponsorships for "reconstructive" work on your IMPORTANT other half will be greatly appreciated, bearing in mind, u get to enjoy the results as well!!

左左人

天啊，我竟然是左左人！

这是按《早报》的一项性格测试所得到的结果。

左左人--认真又冷酷的完美主义者。虽颇有女人/男人味，但却是这四种类型中，最具有男子气概的。凡事都能条理分明的理论性思考，会凭着一篇大道理迅速打败他（人）。

自尊心极强，正义感也比他人多上一倍。做为朋友是很值得信赖，但若与之为敌就会很棘手。不过，因生性认真又是完美主义者，常会让初次见面的人留下难以相处的不好印象。

不得不承认，还相当准确，但我还不至于冷酷吧？？！！果真如此的话，做起许多事来，反而不会觉得绑手绑脚，可一鼓作气把那些不知死活，惹毛老娘的人，连根拔起，捏得连灰都不剩！

政治

不知不觉，恩也快四岁了，在家带孩子也有若干年。选择这条路，主要原因虽是为了能在孩子的成长过程扮演主导性角色，希望能给予她正确的价值观、教育、管教与母爱，其中也有部分原因，是不太愿意再卷入难缠的办公室政治。

可笑的是，有人的地方，就有“政治”。在外面遇到风风雨雨，还能躲进“家”这避风港。当这最后的堡垒也失陷时，还能往哪儿钻呢？

了解到，孩子在成长的过程中，培养独立的思考是必然的过程。她也慢慢意识到，自己是独立个体，时不时展示那“我要自由”的触角。这一阶段，对没什么耐性的妈妈，的确很具考验。或许她个性有点像妈妈，蛮掘的，要她buy into my logic，需下功夫。但，有一段时期，情况还算ok。最近却有变本加厉的迹象，跟她讲道理，她未必听，还经常来一段“你不喜欢，我偏偏要做”。

昨天，我似乎有了答案--原来那称为“爷爷”的人，竟然对她说了这样的话：“不要听妈妈的话。”孩子亲口说，是“爷爷”在跟她玩时，这样对她说的。我一再求证，告诉她如果事情不是如此，绝不能撒这种谎，因为这会破坏大人之间的感情，她仍咬定她的说法。听了这番话，你可以想象我的心有多气氛吗？

从一开始，他们就不愿与我合作，不愿配合，老爱在孩子的管教、饮食等方面唱反调，这也加强了我一切都要亲力亲为的理念。即使做到死，也绝不开口要求他们的帮助。近几个月，可能他们多少也了解到that is not the clever path to take，至少在我面前也会唱一唱一些较悦耳、合拍的调子。正当我以为终于见到了转机时，冷不防原来已中了高手的冷箭！

是恩在撒谎吗？还是有一股强大的“整治”势力在背后与我抗衡？无论答案如何，都是悲哀的。

我应该怎么处理这情况：-

1。装作若无其事，just let it be???

2。也来一段“笑里藏刀”，“勾心斗角”陪他们玩下去？

3。撕破脸，当场对质？

4。取消"visiting right"以示抗议？

5。学人摆黑脸，让他自己尝尝“无辜”被摆臭脸的感觉？

6。借机指桑骂槐，给他来个下马威？

7。或放更多精力在孩子身上，希望她能学会分辨是非黑白，即使这是一条老路，路上布满荆棘，阻力重重。外来的势力，就随它去吧？

老二也快出世了，心中的压力更是往上升。“家”--为何也要沦陷？

原来如此

恩恩今天有点怪。当我接她放学时，她一见到我就说很累，也不太愿意和余老师说再见。于是，我便先带她上厕所。

正当我们步向电梯时，余老师朝我们走来，然后问恩恩为什么没向她道别？原来之前，有位同学掉了发夹，恩恩把它捡了起来，不愿还给同学。当老师把发夹归还时，她便大哭起来。

当她听到老师的陈述，便又眼眶乏红，哭了起来，便一直说累。当我向她提问，希望她让妈妈知道发生了什么事，好让妈妈帮她解决。她怎么都不肯说，只是一直哭，一直答不愿意说，甚至说她忘了那同学是谁，忘了发生什么事。

我便向她解释，我只想知道发生什么事，如果恩恩有秘密不跟妈妈说，妈妈会伤心的。妈妈只想知道发生什么事，不会责骂她的。我又问她，如果她有一样很喜欢的东西，而朋友拿走了不还她，她是不是会很伤心？答案是肯定的。同样的，如果她拿了别人心爱的东西，那人也会很伤心的。经过了一轮哭诉，说着她有多么喜欢那发夹等等，我一再对她解释，无论她有多喜爱，东西不是她的，她就不应该拿。过一会儿，她便平静了下来。

后来，她终于告诉我，原来发夹是她的好朋友-惠黎的。她也答应我，明天会向惠黎道歉。想必她早前不愿道出事情的原委，应该是知道自己做错了事，怕被责骂。我想，这事件，应该还处理得相当妥当吧。

遐想

或许感情这潭浑水，我玩不起

或许人际关系，我永远无法掌握

或许我根本不属于这个年代

或许我的存在是上帝开了个大玩笑

或许做人应该“笨”一点

或许我才是真正的笨蛋

或许明天会有奇迹

或许今天将是据点

或许人生仅是如此，真实的只有我那手心里的宝

原点

回来之前，早已预知这种状况的到来......

本还抱着一丝期望，一年的经历或许能起着些许作用，现实总还是得接受“距离”的挑战。“距离”越近，“影响”越是如磁铁般展示着它的力量。要来的始终还是来了，我的人生回到了四年前的原点。

有些事永远无法改变，有些人只能盼“距离”这条鸿沟能把他远远地隔开。我甚至为了避开他，宁愿选择离乡背井，离开我的至亲，离开我的避风港，离开我熟悉的环境，为的只是想得到一丝平静，恢复我的家庭宁静，还原我本应有的自由与舒畅。

带我离开吧......

Ballet - Trial at Ballet & Music Co

This is the 2nd trial I brought En for since we came back.

The first was at Dancepointe Taman Jurong. They claimed to have good quality flooring from Harlequin (well, I'm not an expert in this field, so I assumed it must be quite impressive). However, I was very disappointed with the condition as there were bumps around and it looked pretty old. As students and parents etc started streaming in, it reminded me of the first few lessons En had at Bukit Batok CC when she just started ballet. Many kids were clinging to mummies n crying and the trial class was so huge that even 2 teachers couldn't manage the kids effectively. It was obvious En wasn't keen, as she wasn't paying attention least talk about following instructions. Though it was communicated that the actual class would be smaller, we decided to move on, as there wasn't any point if she's simply not interested.

Abt a mth down the road, finally decided to let her try out at Ballet & Music Co in United Square, as it's near her pre-school, so we can just go after class. Initially, En told me that she would not be interested and she wouldn't want to go new class and make new friends. I told her that she wouldn't know if she didn't try and we'd not put her in the class if she really didn't like it. This school is more similar to the one in US, where parents have to stay outside the studio. However, the studio in US has a long window panel for parents to view, while the current only has a small glass opening on the door. Decided to peek for a while to see how En was doing. She seemed to be enjoying herself and paying attention to the teacher, doing what was required. I guessed this should be the one. Better checked with her after lesson to confirm. The moment she met me after class, she said," Mummy, I like this class. I want to continue." Ah! Finally found the one she liked.

Playing Mute to Blabber-Mouth

Met the principal at the lift today, after dropping En off at the assembly hall. So we chatted for a while. She commented that En was doing well in class and a rather well-behaved child, who would voice her views and take the initiative to talk with her friends.

I must say her experience in the States had served her well. She was a reserved gal who wouldn't talk much to outsiders (though she was always talkative around mummy), even to her teachers at her 1st childcare. She was still the same when she first enrolled in Challenger. A few months later, there was once I brought her into class, and her teacher, Ms Jennifer told me," Don't worry, she'd start talking when Mummy leaves." On another instance, while Ms Jennifer brought her to my car, she told me that En said that Mummy would smack her backside if she's naughty. Haha!!! What a transformation! She also went telling her current Principal that we're "homeless" now, while the Principal was chatting with another student about him moving house. Though it's great she's no longer playing mute, she has become a blabber-mouth!!! No more secrets...

As I picked her up from school today, she showed me a lolly-pop. I asked if it was her classmate's birthday again (as they just had 2 bday celebrations last week, right after CNY break). She answered "No". One of her friends named Huili had 2 lollies, and she gave 1 to her. Now she has a special friend too. Not bad Gal!

18

Today is K's birthday and baby's 18th week. I had planned for a night at Sentosa's Siloso Beach Resort's Roof Top Garden Jacuzzi Room. The initial plan was a getaway for just the 2 of us. However, with K starting work at his previous company (which demanded that they put in at least 120% of their stipulated working hrs, n 1 of their weekend/ week or 后果自负), and En in the afternoon session (which meant she had to drop her afternoon nap), thus having to sleep early, father and daughter hardly get to see each other. So, he requested to bring her along. Anyway, we didn't get to do much except for lazing in the room, making use of the roof-top jacuzzi and outdoor rain shower, venturing out for meals and just a short shopping trip at Vivocity.

I have been feeling really tired ever since I had Baby No.2. Though I'm into my 2nd trimester, the discomforts that I encountered during first trimester (tiredness, vomiting, insomnia etc) don't seem to be going off, while the symptoms for 3rd trimester like back ache etc are appearing earlier. In fact, this pregnancy is rather different from the first time where my morning sickness lasted only a while and my 2nd trimester was a breeze - no constipation, even my prob of gastric wind etc disappeared and I had a good appetite.

Baby No.2 is also much more active than En. I started feeling his movement while I was in my 16th week. At 18th week now, I can easily feel him moving, esp ard 10pm at night. The movement is usually quite obvious and it will come on and off for the next half hr or so, unlike En who usually just produced some light kicks here n there n would stop after that. Am I more sensitive or is he going to be one rambunctious rascal???

Anyway I'm wishing for a more comfortable pregnancy ahead and for K's company to show more 人性 (which is quite unlikely, with news of further pay cut etc... wonder if he should have just taken the severance and left initially. Well, I guess things will work out in the end. Just have to rough it out through this bad times).

A New Beginning

Finally, it's En's first day at her new Kindergarten. She's going to meet new teachers and friends at her new class - Nursery Love. Judging from her track record in the States, Day 1 should be a breeze.

Alas! Her eyes started welling with tears the moment she stepped into class. There was already quite a crowd there though we were 15min before time. She clung on to me and refused to let go. Nonetheless, I decided to leave the classroom after playing with her for a while and she started to settle in a little.

As I had to settle some admin stuff with the Principal, I was waiting outside the office as the Principal was busy helping out in the classes. About half an hr or so, I saw the Principal bringing a crying En to the office. Apparently, they were about to give me a call. So, I followed her to the classroom, while the Principal tried to introduce some new classmates to her. Most of the students were with the school the previous year. Luckily I wasn't the only mum there. I stayed in the classroom, encouraging En to play with other kids, while the teachers and Principal busied themselves with the other children who were crying.

After a while, I decided to leave the classroom. En cried again but the Principal was with her. Well, she has to get used to her new school somehow....

An hr before dismissal, I finally got sometime with the Principal. She mentioned En was doing fine. I managed to finalised the switching of class to afternoon and fixed the transportation arrangement with the school bus vendor.

"RRRRIIIIINNNGGGGGGGG", the parents started moving to the lobby and classrooms. En's class was one of the last to be dismissed. She wasn't crying when I picked her.

Let's hope today's episode was due to the crowd. Tmr will be better, same teachers but new friends again. It'll also be the first day that En will be travelling on a school bus. Guess I'll be stuck in school for another 3 hrs, at least to ensure she'll be picked up from school on her 1st bus trip.

P/s: One of En's classmates today was the daughter of an ex-actress, Magdalene Chu (朱乐玲). However, she'll be her ex-classmate tmr, when En moved to N-Grace in the afternoon.