The thread between Sanity & Madness

I do not know if the phase will ever pass, or am I the only one suffering??? The persistent tantrums, defiance, day and night, weeks and months, never-ending. Can't calm, can't solve, no help, no escape. The need to fight to keep cool, it's tearing me DOWN! No one understands, none cares. Everyone can just bail and run, everyone except ME!!

WHY??!! Cos she only comes to mummy, cos she says she doesn't want others??? Ever wonder WHY?? Cos only mummy will sleep with her, only mummy this, mummy that.. THAT IS WHY!!! And it becomes an EXCUSE, because she only wants MUMMY!!!!!!

Does it matter or does it occur to anyone, that this thread, this very thin and invisible thread might snap one day?? Then what happens?? Blame it on lousy Mummy, the one who couldn't take the stress, the one who couldn't handle it all. She has herself to blame right, she chose the path, didn't she??! When dear baby gets hurt?? What then?? Regret?? More blame??? Finger-pointing??

Great chance right, for those who'd been invisible when baby was in Mummy's tummy, for those who said, "She pooed" when she was wearing diaper and expected that someone else cleansed her up, for those who wanted baby so badly, but always called when she started crying for Mummy, for those who just wanted to own her. Yes, take her away! That's if MAD Mummy hadn't decide to take her along, because she needs Mummy right. Because, it's always Mummy this, Mummy that right. So, who else can take care of her besides Mummy?? So Mummy must bring her along, even though Mummy really doesn't want to. But Mummy must if Mummy goes......

My thoughts are getting incoherent, my anger and anguish inextinguishable. Please! If there's a God out there, keep me sane, for my Baby's sake. Keep me SANE......