Power Struggle
Battling a toddler can be tiring, especially with one who's going through a phase of absolute defience.
Recently, Baby En has been exceptionally naughty. She's exhibiting behaviour that suggests she's going through a stage whereby she wants to display her independence. This has been going on for a while. However, the situation is worsening. It progresses from the occasional outburst, to the frequent disobedience. Every now and then, she'll act in the opposite of what's expected of her, thereafter, comes the screaming, crying, tantrums throwing etc.
Apparently, her stubbornness also grows with her age. Time-out in her naughty corner no longer works. There was a period whereby I got so tired with the tongue-lashing and temper flares, I worried I might just lost control and did something which I would regret in future.
Finally, I resorted to the one thing that some Mommies professed to work - IGNORE. Yes, I ignored her, 1/2 hr, 45 mins.... I didn't care. And ya, a stubborn girl she is. She hung on screaming and crying, ranting her "don't want, scared scared" song, right there in the bathroom, beside the loo.. Even when she finally came to me, she still refused to admit that her behaviour was wrong. It was a battle of the wills. I did my web-surfing with her in full-action right next to me, till she finally relented, admitted on her wrongdoings and apologised. Not any less.
Then it's nap-time. Wow, this was one of the fastest sleep record for her!
2 comments:
I bet it happens to all babies and all mommies... The scene of children wailing away and parents feeling frustrated.
I can totally understand how you feel. But, after going for a course that talks about childhood programming, I felt so so bad about how I ignored my boy when he misbehaved.
Did you know IGNORING someone is the worst treatment that you can give anyone? Think twice my friend.
Good thing I didn't have to do it often. After the 1st couple of times and she toned down a little.
Anyway after those few episodes, I saw a programme on TV 《我不是不听话》, one of the child psychiatrist featured did mention children at 2 do not know how to express their frustrations, so it works better to comfort them, so I tried incorporating both, i.e. ignore for a couple of mins then coming to her, hug and and explain things. She's more receptive and usually recovers faster. Guess we learn along the way how to be better parents...
Post a Comment