Riding the waves....

It had been a challenging time since we came home, esp for this couple of weeks. I guess the reasons r plenty - K's unhappiness at work, re-adjusting to life beyond our own little family, more hectic lifestyle having to fetch En to-n-fro school everyday, increase in familial commitment etc, physical challenges (we have been falling sick one after the other, consecutively, ever since we return, non-stop, so much so the doc's office had become our regular haunt. We must have visited our GP for at least 7-8 times in total since Dec), discomforts from this pregnancy (made worse by my sickness), hormonal changes, the unbearable heat that's causing me rashes outbreak everywhere...... So much so that situation had gotten somewhat out-of-hand in the last weeks, that I'd wallowed in so much self-pity with feelings of being neglected, uncared for n unloved. It must have been a tough time for K too, for I believe he's also going through a very rough patch at work. Being the sole breadwinner, with another mouth to feed soon, the pressure must be intense. Perhaps that accounts partly for his insensitivity. I tried to understand but sometimes when little things add up, over a period of time, it's just too difficult.....

After that particularly scary incident ( I'm sorry I might have traumatised En), I really felt the need to just offload all that's been bugging me, how unbalanced n disrespected I felt at times. And I'm truly surprised n touched at the outcome of my no-holds-bar confession. Something I truly need in a time like this. I hope that things can really take a turn for the better, esp with Baby coming soon (n Yes, he's still superbly active, esp as my cough is disturbing him. I guess he must be very anxious to come out).

Frankly speaking, I do foresee myself going a little crazy after birth (as with En). My dear Boy, hope that u can be my pillar of strength n give me a little extra love, patience n care. 我比上次老了，体力没那么好，又有两个小瓜要照顾，所以真的需要更多的support.