Utah

28th Nov

We're finally here, after the long flight and transits.

As I'm typing here, Baby En is sleeping behind me on the soft, comfortable couch, even though she wanted to watch Elmo and the VCD is still playing away. Guess she must be really tired, as her sleep time is in a mess now. Could be the weather too. It's like an air-conditioned room though the heater is on.
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29th Nov

Woke up at 7am to do video call with family. Somehow the speaker didn't seem to be working on their side. Anyway it's a great feeling to be able to see them.

Think we're all getting a little sick. K is having his cough again. Baby En a little too. I'm having a blocked nose now. Not sure if it's due to the tiredness or the weather. Hope it's not the latter, else I'll be having it for the next few months.

Over here, it looks like a town. There's hardly any tall buildings around. The weather is really cold and dry, even though it's not at it's lowest yet. On the whole, everything seems nice. Our apartment is self-contained and very nice and cosy. We have a play ground here though I'm not even sure if we'd ever use it. That applies for the outdoor pool too. Basically it's like a condominium with a clubhouse.

We went to Wal-Mart last night. It's open 24hrs. Guess how much we spent? Over USD$200! We got a booster seat. Figured it's more worthwhile as it can be packed into smaller size when we leave for home. K got a local lousy hp for cheap local calls.

Baby En loves it here.

Will include pics in my next update.

Last Minute Changes

We'll be flying to Utah with Daddy tomorrow morning!

It was a last minute decision as a check with NW this morning revealed that they had economy tickets available now. Thus, we did the top-up of $1.2k plus. Next came the frantic packing, informing of family, friends, change of currency, banking etc etc. My house is still in a mess!

Amidst the chaos, this sudden sense of lost crept in. I started missing everyone and everything even before I flew, especially my Dear Fur Fur (perhaps part of it due to guilt, as I always feel that I'd neglected her since the arrival of Baby En). Gosh! I miss you Mummy, Papa, Bee Bee and all my dear gfrens (u know who u are)!

Take care!

HFMD

"Mummy, I got ulcers." True enough, 2 of them on each side of her tongue. "Itchy (referring to her feet)." GOSH! Blister-like rashes on both her feet. First thing that came to my mind was - HFMD!! I checked her hands but there was only one blister. No fever. Nonetheless, I rushed her to the doc.

The verdict - Positive. As treatment is symptomatic, there's really nothing much we can do except to let her immune system work it out. How unfortunate that it had to strike (1st time) just 2 weeks before we fly!

Luckily:-
1. It was mild. There wasn't any fever and the ulcers were not wide-spread. (By the time we got home from the clinic, the rashes had spread to both her palms and around her pelvic area. Good thing is, till now, there's no other signs that it's worsening).

2. It would have been worse if she contracted it later as recovery period is approximately 1 - 2 weeks. Phew!

I'm wishing that she'll be fully recovered from all her illnesses by the time we need to leave, otherwise it'll be a very uncomfortable trip for her. That translates to "It will be HELL for Mummy." Sigh......

P/s: She was first diagnosed with the disease yesterday morning.

坏小孩语录

1。小鬼做错事被我骂了两句，结果她说：“I want to call your HUSBAND”。然后她便打电话告状。

2。谈到妈妈生日快到了，便向她要礼物，她回答：“我很小，我还小，不可以买礼物。”

3。正要喂她喝咳嗽药水。小鬼要自己拿量药水的小杯子，说道：“It's MINE! I want to take myself. U pour inside. U don't take ha. Be a good girl.”

4。阿嫲问她：“U broke piggy(coin bank)?”
小鬼答：“I did not break piggy.”
阿嫲：“Then who broke piggy?”
小鬼：“It's En En.”

5。在车里，小鬼喃喃自语：“Teacher Yeow Gek, Mummy. Teacher Yeow Gek, Mummy..... Miss Chong, Daddy. Miss Chong, Daddy........”
爸爸多嘴道：“Yes.”
小鬼应：“Are u Miss Chong?”

Belles of AJPS - Thank You!

It's been very difficult to organise an outing with full attendance - family commitments, work schedule etc. But this time, WE ALL MADE IT!

Despite the horrendous jam (due to ASEAN summit), torrents rain, sickness, family woes, work schedule etc, we met, some even with young babies in tow.

"Heavy jam, Callous rain

Battling work foes

And family woes

Weak in body

Tired in souls

Despite all troubles

You gals came

At Aerin's we gathered

Amidst the wining and dining

We shared our stories

It's great to know

Regardless of time and space

We'll always have each other to share."

- dedicated to the lovely gals of AJPS (92/93)

This is the first time I'm trying my hands on a poem. It doesn't rhyme and might not seems that fantastic. But this is something I'll like to do for my dear friends of so many years. Even though the gathering wasn't well-planned, nonetheless we had a great time together - something we didn't have the luxury for in a long, long time.

Hope that we'll have the opportunity for such a marvelous gathering when I return.

P/s: Aoqun, pls forward me the pics u took so that I can post them here. Ths!

出国 - 散心？烦心？

到了今时、今日，没有一件事是定下来的。唯一能确定的是，肯定无法在28日起飞，经济舱已爆满！K公司发出的消息来得太迟了。

接着就是烦要订哪天的机票、票价、怎么安排接送、回程日期............明天的Visa interview不知会否出状况？？

一想到要独自一人，又提行李，又拖个小瓜，还要转两趟班机，就万般恐惧。特别是上回在Narita专机的经历，它们的候机室特别混乱，程搭不同班机的搭客都挤在一个诺大的候机室里。

原本满怀期待的白色圣诞，终于能够实现。却早已被烦琐、满布荆棘的过程一扫而空。真的不想去了........

注：几分钟前，终于确定了机票（NW的网络订票系统实在“烂”。结果还是得通过电话订票）。12月8日 - 如果证件等都通过，我们真的要走了。

坏妈妈

发现每个月生理周期起变化的那一、两个星期，脾气会变得特别急躁，完全失去忍耐的能力。

常因为一些小事情，跟孩子大喊大叫。可怕的是，情况好像越来越糟。今天一大早，又为了孩子闹情绪而发火。整个人好像疯子一样，跟她大吼，“讨厌”、“irritating”等可怕的话脱口而出。一直喊，一直喊，一直喊.....完全失去自制的能力，还出手打了她。一巴掌打了下去，她没静下来，还拿藤条在小手心抽了两下。

宝贝，对不起！

我到底发生了什么事？希望只是最近为安排到国外的事，比较烦燥而已。最好不是得了忧郁症......

Why u call me "Wei"

There was a period of time when Baby En decided it was cool calling people "Wei!". So she went around shouting "Wei!" to me. Till I told her it's rude to do that. And if anyone were to call her "Wei" in school, she should just ignore and tell them that she has a name.

It kind of improve for a while. Then, one day, while we were waiting to board the plane home at Phuket Airport, Baby En was messing around near a rubbish bin. As a reflex action, I shouted "Wei! Baby move away from the rubbish bin." Next thing I knew, she strolled up to me and said in an angry tone, "Mummy, why you called me 'Wei'". Papa laughed so loudly, but I wasn't in the bit embarrassed. In fact, I felt happy she registered my message, thus I apologise to her and took the chance to reiterate that it wasn't nice to be called "Wei".

Not too long after, DEAR DEAR DADDY became the butt of his own joke. Hahahahaha!

Feeding at 6 mths

Was looking through some pics taken in 2005 when I came across this video of Fat En during one of her initial feeding experiences. Do remember to turn on the speaker to listen to the "commentary" (courtesy of Mummy and Yi Yi on 12 Oct 2005).

乱

这阵子，生活过得有点杂乱无章。有太多东西需去处理，可是却因为少了许多info，很多必须做的事情都被迫卡在那儿。VISA、机票、保险等等等，没一样敲定。Oh my gosh!这个月28日要走了，看现在的情形，走不走得了还是个未知数。烦！

了解

浏览着友人的部落格，阅读着他这几年来的生活点滴、经历、见解......突然发觉，这是我认识的他吗？
是他变了？生活改变了他？工作相对的安稳，经济较许可，所以人生的规划也不同了？可否是网路开辟了一片让他畅所欲言的空间？还是我一开始就从没了解过他？或是过于自我，认定对方屁股摇一摇，我就知道他在想什么，遮蔽了自己的双眼？还是以往那强势的我，逼得他把真实的自己掩藏起来？
原来，他竟是一个那么有强烈自我意识的人。

My husband - The Devil

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The Temperance

You are Temperance

Time. Ages. Transformation. Involuntary change

Temperance is another card of aspiration, but also of much change. It often
represents complex situations. Positively, you can harmonize contrary
forces.

Temperance is, on a surface level, about "tempering." The original pouring from cup to cup might have been about cutting wine with water. So this is a card about moderation. There is, however, another angle to the card, that of merging seemingly impossible opposites. Sagittarius, the centaur, merges beast and man into a unique creature. And then there is the bow and arrow, one moving, one stationary, working together to point the way. Temperance may be, at first glance, a warning for you to "temper" your behavior, to cut your wine with water. But it may also be a reminder to that seemingly irreconcilable opposites may not be irreconcilable at all. Belief that fiery red and watery blue cannot be merged may be the only thing standing in the way of blending the two. Change the belief, measure out each with care, and you can create otherworldly violet.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

================================================

My verdict: Rather accurate. I had a friend who once told me that he felt I'm a person of opposites - dependent yet independent. My profile test also revealed similar results. i.e. I possess opposite traits. Rather unsual. Perhaps that's y I often feel troubled......

Thank you....

宝贝经常会向我“示爱”。一天里可以说上好几次"I love you", "Kiss me on my lips, Mummy"等。

今天，她却说了一句最动人的话。当我们在看Elmo's Outdoor Adventure VCD时，她突然转过头来对我说:"Thank you for loving me."

一句话抵消了所有的"I don't want you already", "I'm angry with you"......

Trauma

Tucks!! It's so painful and the amount of blood! Be gentle, gentle PLEASE!!!

Thought that I should go for a dental visit before going overseas. It had been year since my last visit, which was done with great unwillingness due to persistent toothache.

I'd always have a phobia of visiting the dentist thanks to the regular dental checks by those ohhhh sssoooo GENTLE dental nurses back in school days. As such, I'd never visit any dentist unless it's absolutely necessary after I escape their clutches.

However, my previous visit a year ago somehow took away a little of the anxiety. Although it took me 3 visits to rectify my problem, the dentist had been rather gentle and careful, perhaps because I'd mentioned to him that I'm afraid of dental visits. Thus, this time round, I convinced myself that those horror visits of yester-years are all long gone.

Ha! Bad luck! Although it's by no fault of the dentist. He was just doing his job, trying to give my pearlies a thorough cleansing. I should have given him a "warning", then he might have been more prudent with his digging and patching etc.

Note: The 2 visits were done by different dentists.

矛盾

很多时候，我告诉自己不要打孩子，特别是了解自己脾气不好，容易动怒，深怕一时之气下，会做一些日后后悔莫及的事。宝贝一天天长大，慢慢地，她也开始意识到自己是独立个体，有自己的想法、情绪，会发问、顶嘴、耍赖、发怒......脾气更是和妈妈同出一辙，可说是有过之而无不及。有一天，我终于忍无可忍拿藤条打了她（不是真的藤条，而是那类撑气球的塑料管，打了没那么疼）。你晓得吗，这小鬼还胆敢跟我抢藤条！本来只想打她的小手心，结果打不着，干脆把她捉起来往屁股抽了一下。她当然又哭又闹，嘴里虽然喊怕怕，可是行为上还是一样坏，性格倔得很！接下来的一、两天，情况没改善，还变本加厉，连三更半夜也起来闹。结果当然又是被打。她总爱在胡闹、乱耍脾气之际，还要妈妈抱抱等，而且是无论你做什么，她都不满意，就是故意找麻烦。很多时候，心里是想上前抱她的，可是又担心这样会养成她无理取闹的个性，所以她越闹，我越不睬她，一定要她认错。她硬是不肯，就在那儿展开“拉锯战”。
有时，感觉上，若我态度先软化，去抱她，她可能更快恢复，也不需搞得自己气得快发疯，可是真的很怕这样的妥协会照成将来宠坏她的严重下场，让她变得娇纵、无理。毕竟人人都让她，管教她的责任都落在我一个人身上。当她闹起来时，枕边人给予的并不是体谅，而是"Y do u ALL have to do this every night?!"难道我不累吗？真的很想撞墙死了算了。
我到底是个怎样的妈妈？是否能教好我的孩子？做得对不对？我没有答案。
唯一庆幸的是，至少到目前为止，虽然妈妈对她是最凶的，也是唯一会打她的，宝贝始终最爱我，即使教训了她后，她还是会要找我。会不会担心有一天她终于讨厌妈妈，讨厌那个唯一会对她严厉的妈妈？当然会。可是这是我为人母的责任，只希望她永远能明白一切都是为了爱她。
小宝贝，打在儿身，痛在娘心。你长大了是否能够体会？

《生病》

I don't believe it
Baby En En 又生病了
这次比上次还要更严重
除了发烧还咳嗽 和流不停的鼻水
为何常生病 刺痛我的心.....

(sing to the tune of 《认错》)

Sigh....

**Kiss Kiss**

Baby En woke up very early today.

Daddy just gave Mummy a good-bye kiss, when all of a sudden Baby En sat up. How could Daddy miss this opportunity to get a kiss from his Princess? Then came," I cannot kiss Daddy's lips." "Why?""Because I can only kiss Mummy's lips."

Hahahahahaha. So she did remember what I told her!

心烦的日子

最近过得很pek chek。AIA的保单问题困扰了我将近五个月，始终还是“半天吊”。最令人气节的是，有些人挂着Customer Service Deputy Head的头衔，办起事来更像PR部门的，一味只想帮公司开脱疏失之责，全然没有帮客户解决问题之心，更提不上运用最重要的5"W" 1"H"，下属的表现比她好上千万倍！居然还要我come out of my own pocket to right a wrong they created!难怪人们说新加坡的服务水准，要达国际水平，still a long, long way to go......

更糟的是，宝贝生病了。今天已经是第四天，看了两次医生，烧还是不退。如果明天还不康复，又要去看医生。本以为这个星期能放两天“大假"（星期一，托管中心举行中秋节活动，星期二，需提早到学校参加年终毕业典礼演出彩排），结果......简直就是血管爆炸的一星期，可否想象，Naughty 2 Syndrome x 2,3,4,5,6.....!!!晚上还不能睡，因为小鬼夜夜都起来“做戏”，黑眼圈比熊猫还糟！

老天爷，救救我吧！

因为某原因与一位多年没联络，很特别的朋友联系上。心里一直有个问题，无法找到答案，性格使然，还是问了。不知为何，泪水在眼眶里打转，得到答案的那刹那，心中那块无形的大石，骤然碎成粉末。事过境迁，我想也不仅是放得下、放不下，毕竟在生命的某一阶段，他陪我走过。好与坏、对与错，到了今时今日，一切看似没那么重要了。相当庆幸，一路走来，还是多了个朋友，而非多一个敌人。